


Seize Upon That Moment Long Ago

by tabbytabbytabby



Series: Stay Gold [1]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - The Outsiders (S. E. Hinton) Fusion, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blow Jobs, Burns, Character Death, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fire, First Kiss, First Time, Fix-It of Sorts, Flirting, Getting Together, Hand Jobs, Hurt Mason, Hurt Theo Raeken, Love Confessions, M/M, Masturbation, Mutual Pining, On the Run, Protective Derek Hale, Sexual Tension, Smut, Theo Raeken Needs a Hug, the outsiders au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-09
Updated: 2018-05-05
Packaged: 2019-04-20 21:04:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 31,062
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14269503
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tabbytabbytabby/pseuds/tabbytabbytabby
Summary: It’s a scary thing falling for someone like Theo Raeken. Theo is like a shooting star, hot and burning and beautiful, and just waiting to burn out. Derek can only hope that Theo doesn’t burn out for a long time from now. Long enough for people to see the beauty and not just the cold exterior he shows the rest of the world.Or The Outsiders AU where Derek is Darry and Theo is Dally.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LovelyLittleGrim](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LovelyLittleGrim/gifts), [GlitterCake20](https://archiveofourown.org/users/GlitterCake20/gifts).



> This is for Amanda and Sammy who basically helped this fic come into creation. I still don't know what this is but I'm so excited to be writing it.  
> This is partially going to follow the book and movie but there are obviously going to be some changes.  
> Title comes from [Stay Gold](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y3QhA2WiyFI) by Stevie Wonder

Derek remembers a time where he didn’t feel like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders. A time where he was able to relax and plan for the future without having to worry about the affect his decisions would have on anyone else. A time where he was captain of the football team and had been voted boy of the year. Where he’d gotten an athletic scholarship and was planning to go to college. That all seems so long ago.

Now at twenty he’s having to bust his ass at a construction job just to keep the bills paid and make sure him and his two brothers are fed. He doesn’t do anything except work out, go to the gym, and hang out with his friends every once in a while.

He’s not alone, he knows that. His brother Stiles, which everyone calls Soda or Sodapop, dropped out of school and got a full time job at the gas station. He hates that Stiles felt like he had to do. But Stiles never complains. He takes it all in stride. Sometimes Derek thinks he looks happier now than he did when he was in school.

His other brother Liam, who they all call Ponyboy or Pony, has only just turned 14. Derek does his best to give him a good life. It’s hard given where they live but Liam has still managed to stay a good kid through it all. It worries Derek a little because he always seems to be so immersed in books and fantasy that he barely notices things that are happening in front of him.

Part of Derek wonders if that’s a good thing, the world is dark and cold and mean. Maybe it’s good that Liam still has some of his innocence left. At the same time, Derek knows what’s out there. He knows what it’s like to be a Greaser in high school. It can be dangerous, especially if you’re out alone.

His Mom had left both of his brothers in his care when she died. She’d adopted Stiles and Liam when they were young. She worked as a social worker so she spent a lot of time with kids in need of help. Stiles had a couple years in the system after his parents died but Talia had taken one look at him and taken a shine to the kid. She brought him home and fought to adopt him. She did the same with Liam. Liam had only been a few months old when they got him so this had been the only life he ever knew.

There are a few kids from the neighborhood that his Mom also took under her wing. They don’t have the best home life so she always made sure they had a place to stay if they needed to. Derek has made sure to take over with that, wanting the kids to feel like they had a safe place to go.

Mason Hewitt is a 16 years old and one of the youngest besides Liam. He doesn’t have the best home life. His parents are both drunks and always arguing. They take it out on the kid if he’s home so Mason spends more time away from the house more often than not.

Scott McCall is 17 and Stiles’ best friend and has been since grade school. The two work at the gas station together and are inseparable even outside of work. Derek can tell that Scott has a little bit of resentment for Liam. Stiles likes to ask Liam to come along and hang out with them when the two aren’t on dates. Most of the time this ends with glares and complaints from Scott but Stiles lets Liam come along anyway. Stiles might be a few years older but he always make sure his brother is included, no matter what anyone else says.

Brett “Two-Bit” Talbot is another one of the kids. He’s one of the older ones at eighteen years old. He almost always has a wide grin on his face and couldn’t stop making funny remarks to save his life. Life is basically one big joke to him. That doesn’t mean he can’t be serious when he needs to be. He might be a smart ass but when it comes down to it he cares and would do anything for the people he cares about. Which is why Derek trusts him to look out for Liam whenever they hang out.

Theo Raeken is something else altogether. He lived in New York for 3 years before coming back to their small town in Oklahoma. Derek’s heard plenty of stories about Theo’s time in New York. Anyone that meets Theo would assume they’re all true, and Derek has no doubt that a lot of them are. But he’s also spent more time with Theo than anyone else. Theo might act cold and hard and aloof but Derek can see it’s just a cover. Derek knows all too well what it’s like to build walls up to protect himself. He can see that’s what Theo’s been doing. He sometimes worries if they’re up so high that no one will be over to get over. But he feels like he’s making a pretty decent crack at them.

 

Derek walks into the house after work to find it empty. He’s not surprised. Stiles is at work and Liam is at school for another hour or so. Neither one should be home for a while. Derek throws down his keys and takes off his belt and his boots before heading into the bathroom to shower. He takes his time, letting the warm water wash over his body and attempt to ease some of the tension in his shoulders.

He’s just stepping out and drying off when he hears the front door open and then Theo’s voice call out, “Hey Der? You home?”

“Yeah I’m in here,” Derek calls back. He towels off his hair before wrapping a towel around his waist.

Theo’s lounging on the couch when he walks out and shoots him a smirk. “You didn’t have to go through the effort of getting all dressed up just for little old me.”

Derek rolls his eyes and makes his way into the bedroom. He drops the towel and quickly pulls on a pair of sweats. He doesn’t often wear them but he just wants to be comfortable right now. He debates on a shirt but decides against it.

He walks out to find Theo in the same spot he was before. Sighing, Derek flops down on the couch next to him, resting his head on the back and closing his eyes.

“Long day?” Theo asks.

“Long week,” Derek mutters, “We had a lot of work. Which is good because it means I got some extra money. But it was a lot of lifting.”

“You work too hard Der,” Theo says, nudging Derek until he’s sitting sideways on the couch. Then his hands are on Derek’s shoulders, kneeding into the muscles and working out the knots.

“Have to,” Derek mumbles, letting his head fall forward as his body relaxes under Theo’s touch like it always does.

Theo chuckles. The bastard knows exactly what he’s doing, “You don’t have to work hard to get a massage out of me Der. All you have to do is ask and my magic fingers are yours.”

That thought makes his stomach flip. It’s not an unfamiliar feeling where Theo is concerned, but it’s one he hasn’t let himself explore fully. But it’s hard not to think about it when Theo has his hands on him like this and is offering to massage him for no reason at all.

Derek lifts his head, shooting Theo a smile over his shoulder, “I’ll remember that.”

Theo grins, moving his hands from Derek’s shoulders down to his back. “This would be easier if you were laying down.”

Derek has to fight off a blush at the thought of laying in his bed with Theo hovering over him, working his hands into his skin. It’s hard enough having him touching his bare skin like this on the couch.

“It probably would,” Derek says.

Theo makes a thoughtful noise and then he’s pulling back. He chuckles when Derek pouts, holding out his hand. Derek doesn’t even think before taking it, allowing Theo to lead him into his bedroom.

“Jesus you’re a neat freak,” Theo says, glancing around the room.

“I don’t have much to put in here,” Derek shrugs. It’s true. He doesn’t. He sold off a lot of his stuff a while ago to help put some extra money into the house.

“I’m gonna find you something,” Theo tells him, sitting on the edge of the bed. “It’ll be so great you won’t have a choice but to put it in here.”

“Maybe to hide it from view of anyone else that enters the house,” Derek jokes, falling back onto the bed with a small smile.

Theo rolls his eyes, flopping down onto the bed next to Derek. His eyes are so green in this light and paired with the wide smile he’s sporting Derek would swear he’s never seen anything more beautiful. It’s a weird thought. One he never thought he’d think about Theo Raeken. But he finds the words aren’t wrong. They’re _right_. Theo is beautiful. Every part of him.

It’s a scary thing falling for someone like Theo. Theo is like a shooting star, hot and burning and beautiful, and just waiting to burn out. Derek can only hope that Theo doesn’t burn out for a long time from now.

“What are you thinking about?” Theo asks, nudging his arm with his own. “You got this dreamy look in your eyes man. You thinking about a girl or something?”

“Or something,” Derek murmurs, his eyes not leaving Theo’s face.

Theo’s silent, eyes tracking across Derek’s face, conflicting emotions flitting across his face. He settles for a soft smile, letting their fingers lightly brush. “Yeah. I feel that.”

Derek nods, unable to find the words to break the silence. Maybe he doesn’t need to. Anything he says would feel too small and unimportant. Theo seems to get that because he just lays there for a while, eyes taking turns looking over at Derek to the wall behind him. He doesn’t seem tense or uncomfortable. If anything he seems calm. It hits Derek that this is as still as he’s seen Theo in a while.

“Did you still want that massage?” Theo asks, eyes coming back to rest of his face.

Derek moves his shoulders, attempting to feel for any tightness in his back. He feels a little better already just laying here like this. He’s torn. He wants Theo’s hands back on him and it would help him relax but at the same time he doesn’t want to use him.

 _He’s asking,_ he thinks, _if he wasn’t interested in doing it he wouldn’t be asking._

“If you don’t care to,” Derek says.

Theo gives him a crooked smile, “I wouldn’t have asked if it was a problem, big guy.”

Derek feels his face heat up at the nickname, earning a chuckle from Theo, who brings a hand up to pat his cheek. “Well well who knew Derek Hale could blush?”

“Shut up and touch me,” Derek mumbles, eyes widening when he realizes how his words might sound.

Theo doesn’t look uncomfortable, if anything he just looks amused and a little bit fond, letting his fingers trail through Derek’s beard. Derek closes his eyes for a moment, basking in the feeling.

“I am touching you,” Theo murmurs, breath ghosting across his ear making Derek shiver, “Or did you have something else in mind?”

“I have a lot of things in mind,” Derek opens his eyes and brings his hand up to grip the one Theo has on his cheek. His breathing is labored and he’s pleased to see Theo isn’t looking any better. Theo’s eyes are dark and full of intent as they gaze down at him. Derek feels as if he’s coming apart at the seams and they haven’t even kissed yet.

Theo licks his lips, eyes drifting down to stare at Derek’s own lips. The tension in the air is almost palpable. They both lean in and all Derek can think is _finally_. Then the front door is slamming open and excited voices filter into his room.

Theo looks at him for a long moment before leaning in a placing a feather light kiss to the corner of his mouth, “Another time.”

Then he’s standing up and heading towards the door. Derek smirks when he has to stop and adjust himself. Theo rolls his eyes, gaze moving down to the noticeable bulge in Derek’s sweats. “You’re not any better off _big guy_.”

Derek grimaces when he stands up, “Do you think they’ll notice?”

Theo smirks, “Oh they’ll definitely notice,” he walks back over to Derek. Derek isn’t sure if he likes the mischievous glint to his eyes as he brings a hand up to Derek’s shoulder. “I could always tell them you’re napping, give you time alone to deal with that however you like.”

“What about you?” Derek asks. Part of him wants Theo to say he’ll get rid of everyone else and stay. But he knows that’s not fair.

Theo shoves Derek down on the bed with a grin, “Don’t worry about me. I more than know how to take care of myself.” He walks back towards the door and stops with his hand on the knob. Derek’s throat runs dry at the look in Theo’s eyes when he glances back at him. “Think of me when you take care of that, will ya? I know I'll think of you.”

Then he’s winking and leaving Derek alone to stare at the door as it closes behind him. Derek listens as he talks to his brothers. He hears Stiles make a comment to Liam about going out for ice cream to give Derek some quiet to sleep. Then they’re gone and he’s left in silence. Derek lays there hoping that maybe Theo will walk back through the door. He doesn’t.

Derek looks down and groans, wondering if he’s really about to do this. He has other things to worry about but it’s been so long since he’s had a chance like this and he’s _so hard_. Thoughts of Theo come to mind, remembering the way his hands felt on his skin, the way he smelled like earth and nicotine and danger. The way his lips had barely touched him but still left his skin tingling. Yeah he’s definitely going to do this. Damn Theo Raeken.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Kudos/Comment make my day <3  
> I have so many notes for this fic and a set number of chapters planned, which I won't say because I'm not sure if I'll stick to it. But hopefully I can get it all put together and in order so I can get the next chapter up. Which will be covering where the book begins.  
> [My tumblr](http://tabbytabbytabby.tumblr.com/)


	2. Chapter 2

Theo never had a whole lot going for him. He spent a lot of time alone growing up. What with his mom being a cheating drunk that left when he was five and then his Dad… well his Dad was the worst kind of alcoholic. He screamed and he threw things, including more punches than Theo can count. Theo tries to block those memories out when he can.

He never really had anyone in his corner. He expected to spend his life just floating along alone. He was fine with that. Thanks to his Dad he toughened up real fast. Emotions were a luxury he couldn’t afford, not with the life he led. Then he met Talia Hale and with her, her sons. That’s when it all started changing.

Talia was warm and welcoming, as were her sons. The youngest Liam was happy and innocent and hadn’t seen a lot of the darkness the world had to offer. Sometimes Theo envied that. The middle one, Stiles, was as sweet and bubbly as the drink he was nicknamed for. And then there was Derek.

When Theo first met Derek he was in high school. He was captain of the football team and had a great life ahead of him. Theo remembers the first time he saw Derek. He’d heard all about him from his mother and had expected some typical jock. What he got was something else entirely.

Derek had run into the house, laughing at something one of his buddies had called to him. Theo had been struck speechless by the sight of him. His hair was swept back and his smile was almost as bright as the sun filtering through the window. He was dressed in tight, dark jeans and a black t-shirt that hugged his arms perfectly. When Derek had turned that smile on him and introduced himself Theo knew he was doomed.

As much as he wanted to scowl and give some smart ass remark he couldn’t do anything more than smile back and shake the guys hand. He’d learned a lot about Derek in the time he spent staying with his family. Like the fact that despite being on the football team Derek wasn’t like any other jock. Which sounds like some cliché romance novel with the jock with the heart of gold falling for the nerd or the supposedly bad kid. Their lives weren’t like that though. The universe sure as hell made sure of that.

They were friends but Theo didn’t let it become anything else. He tried to pretend he didn’t notice the too long glances Derek would give him or the way his heart would do weird things when Derek would smile at him or they would touch. It wasn’t good for him. He dated random girls to try and distract himself from the growing feelings for the boy. When that didn’t work he’d left.

He still feels guilty that the only person he’d actually said goodbye to was Talia, but he couldn’t face seeing Derek. He’d known if he had he might not have been able to leave. Especially not if Derek had asked him to stay.

New York had done what he needed it to. It helped to harden him and gave him distance from the one thing that could make him soft. He joined a gang and got into a lot of trouble while living in the city. But he also learned a lot. It helped him figure out just what he had to do to survive. He thought he was doing pretty well for himself. Then he’d gotten a letter from Derek. It wasn’t a new thing. Derek had written him a few times. Theo had responded, because even though he was trying to close himself off and keep his distance it seemed different when he was writing Derek. Like the Theo writing Derek was a different person. Maybe he was. Theo never let himself think too much about the fact that the Theo writing to Derek was the person he wanted to be.

This letter wasn’t like the others. It was somber. Theo felt like he could feel Derek’s grief through the ink and paper. Talia had been killed in a car crash. Derek was asking him to come back, if only to say goodbye to her. Theo couldn’t deny him that. He’d packed his few belongings and got the next train he could find and took it back to Oklahoma. Back to Derek.

Seeing Derek again for the first time in three years hadn’t been what he was expecting. The Derek he returned to was different, then again he hadn’t been the same person either. The laughter had been gone from Derek’s face replaced with a tense jaw, he’d stood rigid and looked as if he’d had the weight of the world on his shoulders. Yet the moment he’d set eyes on Theo his face had softened just a bit, the tiniest of smiles appearing on his face, as he’d pulled Theo in for a hug. Theo couldn’t help but return it. He’d missed it. He hadn’t realized just how much until the moment he’d had Derek’s strong arms wrapping around him. He’d felt safer in those few moments than he had in years.

 

That had been 2 years ago. Since then Theo has worked to rebuild the relationships he’d broken when he left, all the while trying to maintain a safe distance. For most people it works out well. There are two people though that Theo has a hard time keeping at a distance. The first one is obviously Derek. The second one is Mason Hewitt.

Theo sees a little bit of himself in Mason, not the person he is now but the one he’d been before. Back when his Dad had first started hitting him. Before he learned to get tough. What gets to him the most is that Mason, despite everything, still seems to want the attention of his parents. He can see it there, the hope that maybe one day they’ll turn around and see him and realize they have a son they love and care for. Theo doesn’t have the heart to tell him that probably will never happen. Instead he takes the kid under his wing and does his best to help him. Everyone notices, of course, but Theo doesn’t care.

Theo tries to keep up his walls but the longer he spends with Derek the harder it gets. Sometimes he thinks it might be worth it when he sees Derek’s smiles coming a little easier. He’s not sure how he feels about it when Stiles stops him one day to thank him for helping Derek be happy again.

 

Theo is more than aware of the tension between them, hell a lot of the time he instigates it. Most of the time it’s harmless flirting and a little bit of touching. That he can deal with. He can handle it if it doesn’t go too far. Except of course one time it does. He really should have known it would. How could it not when he all but drags Derek into his bedroom?

Theo can’t remember the last time he ever felt that turned on. He’s not sure why he’s surprised. It’s Derek. Sometimes just seeing Derek shirtless and hot and sweaty after one of his work outs is enough to do it. Of course he’d get turned on with a shirtless Derek in his bed.

He’s still not sure if he’s relieved or annoyed at the interruption. All he knows is that if they’d kissed he’s not sure he would have been able to stop himself from taking it further. In the moment that had been all he’d wanted, but now…

Theo sighs. He knows he still wants it. It’s one of the things that brings him to the door of Derek’s house. He’s not sure why he hesitates. He never used to. Derek’s truck is outside so he knows he’s home. It’s his one rare day off after all. That’s part of the reason Theo is here. They usually hang out on Derek’s days off. Today shouldn’t be any different.

He’s eyes snap up when the door opens, leaving Theo staring through the screen at Derek’s amused face. “Are you going to come in or have you taken a sudden interest in my porch?”

“It’s a nice paint job,” Theo comments.

Derek looks down at the chipped paint up to Theo’s face, raising an eyebrow. “It hasn’t been painted in five years.”

Theo racks his brain, trying to think of a response. Then he smirks, nudging Derek as he walks into the house. “I know. I was messing with you man.”

He doesn’t have to turn around to know Derek is rolling his eyes as he closes the door and walks over to join Theo on the couch. It’s not as uncomfortable as Theo thought it might be. The knowledge of what almost happened is there but it doesn’t hang over their heads.

They watch TV like they always do, sitting almost pressed together on the small couch. Derek’s head comes to rest on Theo’s shoulder and Theo frowns. The only time Derek gets cuddly like this is when something’s bothering him.

“What is it?” Theo asks, keeping his voice low. Derek shrugs and Theo snorts. “Come on Der. I know you well enough by now to know when something is bothering you.”

“I’ve just been thinking about Liam,” Derek says.

It’s not uncommon. Derek worries about Liam and Stiles all the time. “What about?”

“We used to get along before Mom died,” Derek says, bending over with his head in his hands. “When I could just be his buddy. But now I have a whole new role and I can’t afford to be his buddy anymore, I have to be his parent. I hate being hard on him but I don’t have a choice. One slip up and social services will be here to cart both him and Stiles away to a boys home. I can’t let them be put into the system. Not again.”

Theo nods, placing a hand on Derek’s shoulder and rubbing it soothingly, “I’m sure they get that man.”

Derek looks up at him, “Stiles might, but I really don’t think Liam gets it. Stiles spent some time in foster care before Mom adopted him but Liam… Liam’s been with us since he was a few months old. He never had to go through that. Which I’m grateful for. I just want to make sure he never winds up in the system, you know? But the more we fight the more I wonder what I’m doing wrong.”

“You’re not doing anything wrong,” Theo tells him. “Derek you’ve been working your ass off to give those kids a great life. Or as great as you can around here. Liam will understand that.”

“I hope so,” Derek mumbles. He looks up at Theo and his eyes are so sad. Theo brings a hand up, brushing his knuckles across his cheek. “I don’t know what I would do without you T.”

Theo feels his breath catch, the words hitting him hard. _Shit shit shit_ , he thinks.

Lucky for him he doesn’t have to worry about responding because the next moment Liam’s panicked voice reaches them. He’s calling for help. Derek shoots to his feet, giving Theo one last look before rushing out the door. Theo runs out after him, seeing that Stiles, Scott, Brett, and Mason are already on their way towards Liam. His eyes narrow when he sees Liam hunched over on the ground as some asshole Socs run down the alley. Theo joins in on the chase, shooting a look at Liam to make sure he’s okay, before carrying on.

After it’s over Theo slowly walks back towards Derek’s house and leans against his truck while the others talk. He internally rolls his eyes when Scott and Stiles start talking about their dates tomorrow, especially when Liam asks if he can hang out with them and Steve, the little shit that he is, tells them no because there’s no kids allowed. Fuck that.

“I’m thinking about going to the movies tomorrow,” Theo says, looking over at Liam and Mason. “And there’s kids allowed.”

He tries to ignore the warmth that spreads through him when both boys grin over at him. He tries to tell himself that he’s doing it just to make sure they don’t get into any trouble out on their own. It’s bad enough being a Greaser in the daylight but at night it’s a whole different thing. He doesn’t want to think about what could happen to Liam or Mason if they were out at night alone and the Socs decided to mess with them.

He can handle himself alone, so can the others. But Liam and Mason… Mason’s already been jumped once by the Socs and has been jumpy ever since. Theo doesn’t want to think what that happening again could do to the poor kid. Better to keep an eye on them and make sure they’re safe. That’s all it is. It has nothing to do with the pleased smile Derek gives him when he hears him invite Liam and Mason along. Nothing at all.

*

Theo personally doesn’t have much use for movies himself. He’ll watch them with Derek when they hang out, but usually he’s watching Derek’s reactions more than the actual movie. And he’ll come to the movie with the gang but he spends more time wandering around and messing with people than watching the movie.

Tonight isn’t any different. They wind up sitting behind two Soc girls and Theo can’t resist messing with them. Even if he does wind up falling out of his seat at some point when he puts his feet up on the seat in front of him and his chair tips over. It gets a laugh out of the redhead Lydia and her friend Malia. He counts it as a win.

Theo flirts and jokes with Lydia, not because he wants to but because he needs to. It’s what’s expected of him. All the while it makes something ugly twist in his gut. This isn’t who he should be flirting with. That person is across town, probably laying on the couch reading some book no one else gets.

Theo is grateful when Liam and Mason start telling him off, using it as an excuse to get the hell out of there. He’s not sure where he’s going, he just needs away from it all. He really just wants some peace. He makes his way to the park and sits on one of the swings, closing his eyes and enjoying the quiet.

His eyes snap open when he hears the sound of someone stomping towards him. He frowns when he releases it’s Nolan Holloway. He’s not surprised, he had slashed his tires earlier. He didn’t even have a reason. Nolan’s just a little shit and had been talking shit about Derek and it set him off. Okay so maybe he did have a reason. No one else needed to know that.

“Hey Holloway,” Theo says, not bothering to get off his swing.

“Raeken,” Nolan glares as he comes to a stop a few feet away from Theo. “My brother informs me you’re the one that slashed my tires.”

“Maybe I was.”

Nolan’s eyes narrow, “You’re not even going to deny it?”

Theo shrugs, “Not when I had a good reason for doing it.”

“What possible reason could you have?” Nolan asks. “I haven’t done shit to you asshole.”

“Not to me,” Theo grits out. So maybe he was going to tell someone. “But you were talking shit about my buddy, saying he’s not fit to take care of Stiles and Liam. I’m not okay with that. Derek’s 10 times the man you are.”

“He’s all brawn and no brains,” Nolan smirks. “And he’ll be lucky if those boys don’t wind up in the system because he can’t keep them in line.”

Theo’s up and out of the swing and tackling Nolan to the ground before he can think twice about it. He’s bigger than Nolan so he has the upper hand for a while, but Nolan’s a little shit. He uses what he can to get the upper hand, which means biting Theo’s shoulder and using the distraction to flip them. He then stands and kicks Theo a few times in the stomach. Theo curses, grabbing Nolan’s legs and pulling them out from under him.

He hits the ground with a pained groan and holds his hands up, “Okay okay. I give.”

Theo glares down at him, “You better watch yourself. I don’t have a problem with you but you keep talking shit about my guys and you’ll get worse than this.”

He walks out of the park without looking back, not even surprised when his feet take him towards Derek’s. He tries to tell himself that he’s the closest and the only one home but he knows it’s a lie. He would go there regardless.

Derek looks up from the book he’s reading when Theo walks in, a smile appearing on his face when he sees who it is. “Theo. Hey.”

Theo nods at him, moving to sit next to him on the couch, only to wince when he moves the wrong way. Derek frowns over at him. “What happened? I thought you were at the movie with Liam, Mason, and Brett?”

“I was but I left. Liam and Mason are still with Brett,” Theo says, resting back against the couch with a sigh.

“That doesn’t answer my whole question. What happened to you?”

“I got into a fight with Holloway,” Theo tells him. “It’s no big deal. I’m just a little sore.”

Derek shakes his head and stands up, making his way into the kitchen. Theo can hear him rummaging around, most likely looking for something to put on his ribs. Sure enough he returns a moment later with a bag of frozen peas in his hand and takes a seat next to Theo.

“Take your shirt off,” Derek mutters.

Theo carefully removes his jack and then attempts to remove his shirt. Derek winds up having to help him pull it off when it proves too painful to do alone. Theo tries not to think about it. It leads his imagination to other places and he can’t go there right now.

“You really have to stop doing this,” Derek sighs, placing the bag of peas on his bruised ribs. “Next time it could be a hell of a lot worse.”

Theo shrugs, “Maybe it will be. Not like it matters.”

“You shut the hell up,” Derek says forcefully, getting right in his face. “You matter. There are people that care about you. If you can’t see that you really are an idiot.”

“Yeah well maybe I just know better,” Theo hisses. “I know how screwed up I am. I’m a walking talking bomb. Everyone is better off staying away from me. Even you. _Especially_ you.”

“Why especially me?” Derek asks, his voice soft.

“You know why,” Theo whispers.

“Maybe you should let me decide that for myself,” Derek murmurs, leaning in close.

Theo knows it would be so easy to close the distance between them. To kiss Derek like he’s been dreaming of for so long. But he’s afraid. Theo Raeken isn’t afraid of much but damn it, he’s afraid of falling in love with Derek Hale. More than that he’s afraid because he’s pretty sure he already has.

He knows what it’s like to lose someone. They both do. Derek has come out of it alright, letting the loss fuel him and make him better. Theo though, Theo has let it turn him cold. At least he had. Then Derek had to come around and start chipping away at his cold exterior.

“Theo,” Derek’s voice is low as he brings a hand up to cup Theo’s cheek. Theo closes his eyes, trying to battle off the storm of emotions he’s feeling. The biggest one is how much he _wants_. He wants to be able to give in and just let himself be with Derek. But he was telling the truth. He’s screwed up. Derek deserves better than a wreck like him.

A tear escapes when he feels a kiss on his lips. It’s so soft and careful it makes him feel like he’s breaking.  He wants to open his eyes, wants to see Derek. But he knows if he does his resolve will break. This would be easier without all the emotions. If he could he’d just give in and be with Derek, have something purely physical. He knows it would never be like that, not with them.

“I’m sorry,” Theo whispers, words coming out choked up.

“I know,” Derek sighs. “I know. I just need you to know I’m here, Theo. Whatever you need. No matter what you say I’ll never stop caring about you. Or wanting you. So if you need time, take it. However long it takes. I’ll be here.”

Theo slowly opens his eyes to see Derek’s staring right back. He looks far too understanding. Theo isn’t sure he deserves it. Not when he keeps hurting Derek like this.

Theo takes Derek hand, placing a kiss to his palm, “You deserve better than me.”

Then he’s standing up and striding towards the door. When he glances back Derek is watching him. His eyes are sad as he watches Theo go. Theo feels his heart break a little when Derek’s words reach him. “I don’t want anything else. I want you.”

 *

Derek watches Theo go, feeling his heart break a bit. He knows he took a big risk tonight. He has to hope that in the end it will be worth it. That one day Theo will wake up and realize he does deserve to be happy and loved.

He must fall asleep at some point because the next thing he knows Stiles is walking in, a wide smile on his face. It’s only then that he realizes it’s nearing midnight and Liam still isn’t home.

“You didn’t see Liam on your way in, did you?” He asks, walking to the door and taking a look outside. The streets are empty by now, everyone else in the neighborhood fast asleep.

Stiles frowns over at him, “No. He hasn’t come home yet?”

Derek shakes his head, “No. Theo came by a couple hours ago and said he was still at the movies with Brett and Mason.”

“Theo?” Stiles smirks, “Is he still here?”

“Stop it,” Derek says. “Now’s not the time, Soda. Liam’s not home and it’s well past his curfew.”

Stiles rolls his eyes, “I’m sure he’s fine, Der. But I’ll call around and see if anyone’s heard from him. You continue to brood about your unresolved sexual tension.”

“Stiles,” Derek warns.

Stiles chuckles as he makes his way over to the phone. Derek knows he’s probably right and that Liam is okay. He’s probably just out with Mason and lost track of time. But there’s also the chance that something happened. It’s not safe out there alone at night.

He spends the next 2 hours switching between waiting in silence and calling around. He’d talk to Brett an hour ago and he said he’d dropped both Liam and Mason off in front of the house hours ago. Unease swirls in his gut, wondering what could have prevented Liam from coming inside.

He’s on the phone with one of their neighbors when the front door opens and Liam walks in. He looks fine. Tired maybe, but otherwise fine.

“Where the hell have you been?” Derek asks. “Do you know what time it is? Well it’s 2 o’clock in the morning, kiddo.”

“Hey Liam,” Stiles says, looking over at his brother. “Where you been?”

“I fell asleep in the lot,” Liam says, walking past Derek and into the bathroom.

“You what?” Derek asks, tone incredulous.

“I was talking to Mason and I fell asleep in the lot. I didn’t mean to.”

“Yeah,” Derek says, stopping Liam from closing the bathroom door. “And I can’t even call the cops because you two would be thrown in a boys home so fast it would make your head spin.”

“Come on Pony,” Stiles says. “Let’s go to bed now.”

That’s Stiles, always trying to stop an argument from brewing. It seems a little late for that right now. Derek is too worked up from being up late worrying that something had happened to Liam. And Liam, well Liam just doesn’t know how to keep his mouth shut sometimes.

“Look, I said I didn’t mean to.”

“I didn’t mean to. I forgot. It’s all I ever hear from you!” Derek yells.

“Come on Derek,” Stiles says, attempting to stop the argument once again.

Derek wheels on him, pointing a finger at his chest, “You shut up. I’m sick and tired of you sticking up for him. You hear me!”

“Don’t you yell at him!” Liam yells.

Derek doesn’t know what does it but suddenly both of his hands are on Liam’s chest and he’s shoving him across the room. He regrets it the moment it happens. But it’s too late. Liam is already scrambling up onto his feet and stumbling towards the door.

"Liam!” He calls, “I… I didn’t mean to.”

Derek and Stiles rush out onto the porch, watching as Liam runs haphazardly down the street. Stiles takes off after him while Derek stays behind just in case he comes back. This time he doesn’t.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Kudos/Comments make my day.  
> [My tumblr](http://tabbytabbytabby.tumblr.com/)


	3. Chapter 3

Mason shouldn’t be surprised that the Socs somehow find them in the park. He and Liam had been foolish to let their guard down and come out here alone. Part of him had hoped that maybe Corey would be able to talk some sense into Gabe and the others but he apparently hadn’t been able to.

Corey’s always been the more logical one. He’d come to Liam after Gabe and his buddies had cornered him and beat the shit out of him, wanting to apologize and tell him he’s not like the others. Mason had been wary of him at first but he slowly learned that Corey was genuine and a hell of a lot sweeter than he ever could have expected.

Before Mason knows it the Socs have him on the ground while the leader, Gabe, has Liam face down in the fountain. He looks to Corey, silently begging him for help but all he does is stand there frozen. There isn’t time to think. Mason knows he doesn’t have a choice. It’s either watch as the Socs drown Liam in the fountain or act. He never thought his kill or be killed moment would be like this.

He’s on his feet and pulling his blade without a second thought. He can hear Liam screaming his name for help every time he’s able to break free and come up for air. But those moments are getting further and further apart.

Mason runs forward and drives the blade deep into the Gabe’s back, again and again, until he goes limp. Then he withdraws the knife. His buddies scream and pull Gabe away, screaming his name as they shake him.

Mason pays little attention to them. He needs to get Liam out of the fountain. It’s all a blur after that, checking for Liam’s pulse, the Socs running off and just leaving their friend their dead on the ground. He is dead. There’s no doubt about it. There’s so much blood in the water.

He looks up when he hears a pair of feet stop nearby and sees Corey standing there, “ _Mason_.”

Mason shakes his head, “He was killing Liam. Drowning him. I couldn’t… And you know what he did to me.”

Corey looks sad as he kneels down next to him, putting a hand on his neck. There are tears in his eyes. “I know, Mase. I know. But this… you just killed somebody.”

Mason looks off into the distance where he knows Corey’s buddies have to be waiting, “You should go. Tell them you kicked the shit out of me or something so they don’t get suspicious.”

“I wish things were different,” Corey whispers, tears falling freely down his face.

“Me too,” Mason says, eyes flicking back to his.

“You find a way to get away from here, okay?” Corey says, “I’ll do what I can to help from here but I need you somewhere safe and away from all this.”

Mason nods and pulls Corey in for a kiss, it’s soft and tender and it breaks his heart because he knows it might be their last one for a while. When he pulls back he brushes the tears from Corey’s cheek, “I’ll stay safe. Now go.”

Mason watches him go, feeling dread start to pool in his gut. After that all Mason can do is clean his blade and stare at the body. He’d killed someone. He’d drove a knife into his body and watched him bleed with barely a second thought. He knows he did it to save Liam. If he hadn’t done it Liam could be dead right now. It still doesn’t ease any of the guilt.

He’s a little surprised he doesn’t feel any different. Surely when you kill someone that changes you, toughens you up. He feels the same though. He still feels like the same Mason he was before he plunged a knife into that boys chest and took his life. Only now he has blood on his hands, and the guilt that goes with it _._

*

Theo is just trying to get some sleep after the fight he had with Nolan Holloway. It wasn’t a bad fight, they both got in a few punches. But the kid is a lot stronger than he looks. Theo supposes he has to be if he wants to keep being the leader of his little ragtag crew. Hell the talk he’d had with Derek after had been more exhausting than the fight had.

He wasn’t expecting to get woken up by Josh telling him that Liam and Mason are downstairs looking for him. Especially not at almost 3 o’clock in the morning. Jesus Christ. Those idiots should be at home sleeping, especially Liam. Derek must be worried sick. He’d have to call and tell him he’s seen his idiot brother just to ease the poor guys worries.

“What do you guys want?” he asks.

He certainly isn’t expecting the answer he gets from Liam, “Mason killed a Soc.”

“What?” He looks between the pair before taking a drag from his cigarette. It’s the only way to hide his confusion and dread. “Alright. Good for you. Let’s go.”

“We figured you could get us out if anyone could T,” Mason says, “I… I.. I’m sorry I got you away from this party and all but I just don’t know what to do man.”

Mason looks calm for a person that just killed someone. While Liam is standing behind him, arms crossed and hunched in on himself, looking as if he might cry.

“I was… I was just uh... trying to get some sleep,” Theo tells them, “I got in a fight with uh… with Holloway tonight.” He starts ushering them inside, purposely leaving out his talk with Derek. He has no doubt that despite the seriousness of the situation Liam would still find a way to tease him.

“Wait a minute. Let me see about this mess. Get in,” he frowns when he moves to push Liam by and his hand comes back wet, “Ponyboy are you wet?”

“I’m okay,” Liam says, though Theo can tell he’s shivering.

Theo leads them through the house, having to pull Liam away when he tries to venture into one of the rooms. “You’ll die of pneumonia before the cops even get to you,” he says, pushing them towards the stairs and then following them up.

He pushes Liam down on the bed, “Hey stupid, take the sweatshirt off, will ya? You’ll freeze to death.”

He starts digging through the dresser, attempting to find the gun he knows Josh keeps hidden in here. All the while he’s going through all the ways he could help them. He might not know the full story but he knows there aren’t many, at least not any good ones. He finally finds the gun and makes sure it’s loaded before handing it to Mason. “Here. And don’t point the thing at me, will ya? It’s loaded. Come on.”

He hands Mason $50 before turning to look at Liam, “Look I’m not itching to be the one to tell your big brother about this and get my head kicked in man.”

He falls onto the bed next to Liam, only to sit up when he speaks, “Then don’t tell him.”

Theo doesn’t comment on it. He knows things have been strained between Liam and Derek ever since their parents died and Derek had to start shouldering most of the responsibility. He knows Derek can be a hard ass but he cares and wants what’s best for the kid. Hell just the other day he’d been beating himself up about not doing enough for Liam and Stiles. This is going to kill him.

Theo tosses Liam a shirt off the bed. It’s a little big but it’ll do. It’s better than freezing to death. He turns to Mason, tugging on the collar of his jacket to get him to bend down. “Come here.”

He gives them both instructions on where to go and what to do when they get there. The important one being to get food first thing and then stay out of sight. “I’ll be up there as soon as I think everything is cool.”

He turns to Liam who’s shaking, “Hey relax buddy. It’ll work out.” He sighs, looking around the room. This whole situation feels a little surreal. “Man I thought New York was the only place I’d wind up in a murder rap. Jesus Christ.

After that he shows them the door and sends them on their way. Despite how calm he tried to be he can’t help the worry building in his gut. He doesn’t like the idea of keeping something like this from Derek either. Especially not with how close the two of them have started to get.

So he gets in his car and drives over to Derek’s. He’s not surprised to see the lights still on. Derek and Stiles must be worried sick about Liam. He hates that he’s about to make things worse for them.

Derek’s eyes snap up when Theo walks in, “Theo? What’s going on?”

Theo’s a little relieved Derek is already sitting down, “I have to tell you something and you’re not going to like it.” Derek moves to stand up and Theo shakes his head, “You should probably stay sitting.”

Theo moves to the couch and sits down next to him, putting a hand on his knee. Derek’s eyes are pleading as he looks up at him, “Liam isn’t… god please tell me he’s not dead.”

His voice breaks on the last word, causing Theo’s own throat to close up. “He’s not dead. He’s fine physically.”

“What do you mean physically?” Stiles asks, “What happened to Liam?”

“He and Mason ran into some Socs in the park. I don’t know all the details, just what was told to me, but something happened and Mason killed one of them.”

“Mason?” Derek asks, shaking his head, “No. No. Mason wouldn’t do that.”

“He did,” Theo sighs, “I wouldn’t have believed it either. But from what I gather it was self-defense.”

“Where are they?” Derek asks at the same time Stiles asks “Are the safe?”

“They’re safe but I don’t know where they are,” Theo tells them, hating the way the lie feels leaving his mouth. “They’re probably laying low. Which is really the best they can do right now.”

Derek nods, “I appreciate you telling us.”

“I thought it would be better coming from someone you know,” Theo says, squeezing Derek’s knee. “Do you need anything?”

“Can you stay?” Derek asks, “Just to sleep?”

Theo knows he should go but right now Derek looks so sad and scared, he can’t bear to leave him alone. He knows Derek has Stiles but he apparently feels like he needs him here.

“Yeah I’ll stay.”

*

It doesn’t take long for news to start to spread about what happened. At least some version of it. Unfortunately for Liam and Mason the only witnesses that are alive are Socs.

It’s all over the papers by morning. Two Greasers killed a nice boy with his whole life ahead of him. He was on the football team and had a scholarship to Harvard or some shit.

The worst of it is seeing Derek. He’s a mess. Theo had only been gone an hour or so but he’s already worse off than he was the night before. The moment Theo walks in the door he’s walking towards him and pulling him in for a hug. Theo wraps his arms around his back and pulls him close, allowing Derek to cry on his shoulder while rubbing his hands up and down his back.

“It’s going to be fine,” he murmurs, “They’re good kids. The truth will come out.”

Derek just nods. He pulls away only to take Theo’s hand and lead him towards the couch. Theo is surprised when Derek pushes him down onto his back and then curls up against him with his head on his chest and an arm slung across his waist. When Theo just lays there Derek sighs and grabs his arm, bringing it down to his head.

Theo gets the point and starts carding a hand through his hair and brings the other to rest on his hip.

“I just need you to hold me,” Derek says.

“It’s okay,” Theo whispers, continuing to run his hand through Derek’s hair, “I’ve got you.”

“I know you do,” Derek says, surprising Theo when he yawns. “You’re always good to me T.”

They’re still laying like that when Stiles walks in later that day. He takes one look at the way Derek is sleeping on Theo’s chest and smiles. Stiles is quiet as he showers and gets to work on lunch. Theo hadn’t even realized it was close to that time yet. Usually whoever is home first is the one to cook.

“I didn’t realize what time it was,” Theo says, making sure to keep his voice quiet.

Stiles sends him a small smile, taking a seat on the chair across from the couch as he waits for the water to boil. “It’s fine. He needs the rest.”

“So do you,” Theo tells him. Stiles might not act like it but Theo can tell this whole situation is bothering him more than he lets on. There’s a lot of pain behind the sunny smile he shows the rest of the world.

“We all need sleep,” Derek complains, tightening his arms around Theo and snuggling in closer.

Theo looks down at him, brushing the hair from his face and smiling when Derek leans into the touch. He looks up when he hears the familiar sound of a camera going off. Stiles just grins at him, waving the picture to dry it. He tosses it to Theo before heading back into the kitchen.

“You’re both a pair of idiots,” he calls back.

“Shut up,” Derek grumbles. He lifts his head a bit, most likely looking at the photo in Theo’s hands. ‘It’s a nice picture.”

“Yeah,” Theo breathes.

He can’t deny it. It is. Derek looks adorable all curled up the way he is and Theo… he never knew his face could look that soft. The look in his eyes is one of such open affection. Jesus Christ. He closes his eyes, afraid to look at Derek. He feels a hand on his cheek, Derek’s fingers dancing across the skin there but he still refuses to open his eyes.

“Now’s not the time,” he whispers.

“With our lives there might never be a time Theo,” he hears Derek sigh but he doesn’t move away, “but I told you I would wait and I meant it.”

Theo’s eyes open to meet Derek’s, the mixture of green and gold is breathtaking up close. Sometimes when he’s with Derek it’s hard to remember his reasons for wanting to keep his distance. Especially when they’re like this. When it would be so easy to go after all the things he’s been denying himself.

“Thank you,” Theo whispers, leaning in to kiss Derek’s cheek, enjoying the way his beard scratches against his lips.

It has him placing more kisses along Derek’s jaw and down his neck without really thinking about it. At least no until Derek’s hand grabs his hair and pulls him away. “Theo.”

Theo looks at him with wide eyes, “I…”

“I know,” Derek says, running his hand through Theo’s hair. “But this isn’t fair, to either of us.”

“I do care about you Der. I just…”

Derek gives him a sad smile, “Well it’s like you said, isn’t it? It’s not really the time.”

Theo nods, watching with a heavy heart as Derek stands up. He shoots Theo a look before making his way into the kitchen. Theo feels guilty. He knows he must be sending Derek mixed signals. Hell he’s confused about all of this himself.

“Are you staying for lunch Theo?” Stiles asks, sticking his head out of the kitchen.

Theo looks behind him to see Derek watching him. He tries to figure out what Derek wants. He doesn’t look like he wants Theo to go, so Theo nods, “Yeah I’ll stay.”

“Good,” Stiles grins, “then get your ass in here and get to work.”

*

Theo isn’t surprised when the cops find him and haul him in for questioning a few days later. They come after him for just about anything, whether he’s guilty or not. He doesn’t say much, of course. Like hell is he going to rat out his friends. That doesn’t mean he can’t send them running off in the wrong direction.

Derek is waiting outside the station when Theo walks out. He’s leaning against his truck with his arms crossed showing off his muscles, with a pair of sunglasses covering his eyes. The smile he gives Theo sends a shiver down his spine. If he didn’t know Derek his first thought when seeing him would be that he’s dangerous. And maybe he is, just more for Theo’s heart than anything else.

“What are you doing here?” Theo asks, walking up to him.

“Heard you got hauled in and wanted to check that you were okay,” Derek pushes off the truck, “Now get in.”

His tone of voice doesn’t leave any room for argument. Theo sighs and opens the passenger’s side door before sliding into the truck. Derek is silent the whole drive back to his house. He looks tense and Theo hates it. He hates that he’s probably at least part of the reason for it.

Derek parks the truck and the two head inside, Derek sitting down on the couch and pulling Theo down with him. He doesn’t know if he could handle sitting so close to Derek right now. It’s been harder to keep himself in control around the man. But he’d draw attention to himself if he stood up so he stays put.

“Are you okay?” Derek asks him. He must be able to sense Theo’s surprise because he sighs, leaning back against the couch. “You did just get arrested Theo.”

Theo waves him off, “I’ve been arrested tons of times. This isn’t anything new.”

“So this wasn’t because they thought you knew something?”

Theo looks at him, debating his options. “They arrest me for anything Der. You know that.”

“So you weren’t there because the Socs mentioned seeing you at the movies with Theo and Liam?” Derek asks.

“If that were the case they would have brought in Two-Bit as well, he was with them longer than I was.”

”I know you know where they are,” Derek says suddenly, “You don’t have to tell me. I just need to know my kid brother is safe.”

“I can’t promise you that,” Theo says. He knows he can’t lie to Derek. He doesn’t want to. Sure, he can’t tell him everything. Knowing Derek he’d be in his truck heading to the church to drag Liam and Mason back home. That won’t help anyone. So he does the best he can, “but I can tell you I gave them what they needed to get away from here and lay low.”

Derek nods, sending him a small smile. “Good.”

Theo pats his back as he stands up, “I’ll be going to check in on them in the morning. So if you have anything you’d like me to tell Pony…”

“Just tell him we’re worried and that we love him,” Derek says.

“And give him this,” Stiles says, handing over a letter. “I knew you knew where they were, you asshole. Of course you’d let Derek know that.”

“Yeah well maybe I like you brother more than you,” Theo says, shoving lightly as Stiles’ shoulder.

Stiles smirks, “Well we all know that. Neither of you are subtle.”

 Theo can feel Derek’s intense gaze on him, clearly waiting to see how Theo’s going to respond. Theo decides to do what he does best and avoid the situation. “Right. Well I should go. I need to check things out and make sure they’re good before I head up there.”

He turns to go only to be stopped by a hand on his arm. He looks up to see Derek watching him, “Thank you, for everything. For looking out for Liam and being here for us. We appreciate it. _I_ appreciate it. I don’t know how I would have gotten through these past few days without you.”

“You would have been fine,” Theo tells him, “but I’ll always be here for you. You know that.”

Derek smiles and squeezes his arm, “I know.”

He places a kiss to the side of Theo’s head before releasing his arm and stepping back, “I’ll see you around Theo. Look after Liam and Mason for me, will ya?”

Theo nods, shooting him a grin before heading out the door. He’s almost to the steps when he hears Derek speak again, so soft he almost misses it, “And look after yourself. I need you here too.”

Theo closes his eyes, allowing himself to bask in the warmth for a moment. And then he’s running down the stairs and out the gate. He wasn’t lying when he said he had to check things out. He just didn’t say with who.

Corey and Lydia are waiting by Lydia’s car when Theo pulls up. Lydia smiles while Corey looks nervous.

“What’s the word?” Theo asks, coming to a stop in front of them.

“I’m going to testify and say it was self-defense,” Corey tells him. “Gabe was drowning Liam and Mason did what he had to do to protect him and his friend.”

“And I’ll vouch for it,” Lydia says, “Gabe was pretty drunk and out of control. Not to mention jealous because I’d spent time with the boys at the movies. He was looking for a fight.”

Theo nods, “Great.”

He turns to leave when Corey calls him back. Lydia looks between the two before nodding at Corey, “I’ll see you down there,” she says, gesturing down the hill.

Corey nods, waiting until she’s in her car and driving off before turning back to Theo. He still doesn’t speak though. Theo doesn’t know much about Corey. He’s always just assumed he was another Soc but these past few days he’s only seemed interested in helping Mason despite the fact that Mason killed his friend.

“Are you going to see him?” Corey asks.

Theo narrows his eyes, “I don’t see how that’s any of your business.”

“It’s…” Theo sighs, running a hand across the back of his neck nervously, “”Look I care about him, okay? We’ve been spending a lot of time together. We didn’t tell anyone because we knew about the animosity between our friends. But we’re… close. I just need to know he’s okay.”

Theo’s a little surprised by this. But he can’t sense a lie in Corey’s words. He knows what Corey is implying, and if it’s true then that means Mason has been living this whole different life without telling any of them. Then again, he probably felt like he couldn’t. Theo knows that before be probably wouldn’t have had the best reaction to finding out Mason was dating someone who’s supposed to be their enemy.

“Do you love him?” Theo finds himself asking.

Corey looks surprised by the question but doesn’t hesitate in his answer. “I do.”

Theo nods, looking out towards the sky. The sun is setting. It’ll be dark soon. “I’m going to see him tomorrow,” he tells Corey. “I can… let him know you were asking about him.”

Corey shoots him a smile, “Thanks man. I appreciate it.”

“Yeah well, I’m not doing it for you.”

“I know,” Corey says, “but I appreciate it all the same. I have this...”

He pulls something out of his pocket. An envelope. Theo has to wonder just how obvious he’s been if all these people have letters prepared for him to give to Liam and Mason. He takes it anyway. It’ll be good for Mason to know that someone is thinking of him.

“I’ll make sure he gets it,” Theo tells him, pocketing the envelope.

Corey nods his head and then waves before starting down the hill to meet Lydia. Theo is left standing there alone, watching as the sun sets in the distance. He can’t help but wonder if Derek is watching it. Probably not. Sunsets are probably more Liam’s thing than Derek’s. They’ve been really been his thing either, but right now he allows himself the time to watch as the colors bleed across the sky. For the first time in a long time he allows himself to appreciate the beauty of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't expecting to have another chapter up so soon but here we are. Let me know what you think!   
> Kudos/Comments make my day.  
> [My tumblr](http://tabbytabbytabby.tumblr.com/)


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song used in this chapter:  
> [Can't Fight This Feeling](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jmo36gnUCWE) by REO Speedwagon

It’s not hard to find the train they need to get out of town. Liam and Mason hide out in the bushes waiting for the train to get there before running and jumping on. They have to hide in the shadows when someone comes by to check to make sure the cars are empty but luckily go unseen.

They ride all night until they get to Windrixville and then sneak off. After that it’s a lot of walking and figuring out where they need to go. Mason makes Liam ask a farmer they come across for directions to Jay Mountain and then they’re on their way, trekking up the hill the church is supposed to be on the other side of.

There’s not a lot out here in the country so the old church isn’t hard to spot. It looks pretty run down but Theo says there’s at least a water pump in the back so it’ll have to do. Liam curls up and sleeps for a while. Mason tries to but all he can see when he closes his eyes is the kid he killed.

He finally gives up and decides he might as well go to the store and get food like Theo told them to. Given that they’re going to be sleeping in a church without power they don’t have a lot of options so he just grabs some bread and bologna and other snacks, as well as some peroxide, knowing that they’ll need to disguise themselves. He’s heading towards the register when he spots a section for books. He sees Gone with the Wind sitting there. Remembering that Liam mentioned wanting to read it he picks up and copy and then goes to pay.

Liam is awake when he gets back, looking freaked out at being left alone. He feels a little guilty but it’s not like he could have left a note or anything. Liam also isn’t pleased about the idea of cutting and bleaching his hair but he finally relents.

It’s a hard process cutting it since the only thing Mason has is his switchblade. He feels bad about hurting Liam but he knows Liam will get him back when he cuts his hair. Sure enough, an hour later Mason is sitting outside by the fence when a now blonde Liam walks out.

Mason can’t help but chuckle at the sight of his friend, causing Liam to scowl, “Is it that bad?”

Mason holds up a piece of glass he found to use as a mirror, “See for yourself.”

Liam holds the glass up and checks out his hair, running a hand through it, “I look ridiculous,” he mutters.

“You look fine,” Mason tells him. “Now come on. It’s your turn to do me.”

Liam brightens up at that, taking a seat behind Mason. It’s painful as hell. He can’t help but wince at the first cut as Liam practically has to rip his hair out. Luckily Liam doesn’t cut off too much and it’s over fairly quickly.

After that they head back inside. It’s getting dark and Mason can already feel the chill of the night settling in. They should find a way to get comfortable and get the fire started.

“This sucks,” Liam mutters, munching on the candy bar Mason hands him once they’re inside and settling in. “It’s like being stuck in a Halloween costume you can’t get out of.”

“Well we got to get used to it,” Mason says with finality. “We’re in a lot of trouble and it’s our looks or us.”

Mason frowns when he looks over and sees Liam crying. He tries to brush them hurriedly off his cheeks but Mason still sees. He looks as miserable as Mason feels.

“I’m sorry I cut your hair off, Ponyboy.”

“It’s not that,” Liam says, between bites of his candy bar. “Or at least not all of it. I don’t know what’s the matter. I’m all mixed up.”

“I know,” Mason says, teeth starting to chatter from the cold. “Things have been happening so fast…”

He has to stop speaking for a moment when the shivering becomes too much. Liam moves over and puts his arm around him in an attempt to warm him up.

Liam starts talking about Brett and how much fun he would have out here in the country, with everything out in the open just waiting for him to steal.

“Remember how he was wisecracking last night?” Liam asks, and Mason feels something ugly twist in his gut. “Last night… just last night we were walking with Lydia and Malia over to Brett’s. Just last night we were laying in the lot, looking up at the stars and dreaming…”

“Stop it!” Mason gasps from between clenched teeth. “Shut up about last night! I killed a kid last night! He was probably one seventeen or eighteen and I killed him. How do you live with that?”

Mason starts crying, leaning into Liam when he wraps his arms tighter around him and rocks him.

“I didn’t mean to,” he finally blurts out. “But they were drowning you and I was so scared…” he goes quiet for a moment. “There sure is a lot of blood inside of people.”

Mason pulls away and stands up, needing to move. To do something. He’s restless and he’s cold and he’s so _tired_. Not the sleep kind of tired but just tired. Tired of having to deal with all the bullshit life keeps throwing at him.

“What are we going to do?” Liam asks, full on crying by now.

“This is my fault,” Mason says, voice miserable. He’s no longer crying. He’d stopped the moment Liam started. “For bringing a little thirteen year old kid along. You should go home. You can’t get into any trouble. You didn’t kill him.”

“No!” Liam screams at him, “I’m fourteen! I’ve been fourteen for a month! And I’m in it just as much as you are. I’ll stop crying in a minute. I can’t help it.”

Mason sighs, slumping down beside Liam, “I don’t mean it like that, Liam. Don’t cry. Pony, we’ll be okay. Don’t cry…”

Liam leans against him and bawls until he goes to sleep. Mason stays awake. It’s freezing here and the only source of warmth they have is some old wood burner and their jackets. But that’s not the only reason he’s cold. He’s felt a chill ever since he plunged that knife into Gabe’s back. It’s a whole different kind of cold.

He can’t sleep because every time he closes his eyes he sees Gabe’s face. He knows if he slept he’d have nightmares about it and the last thing he needs is to wake up Liam with his screaming. So he stays awake. Someone should keep look out anyway.

As he sits there he thinks of Corey, wondering how he’s doing. He wonders if he’s still awake and thinking about him. He hopes he is. Mason knows it’s selfish. He’d killed one of Corey’s friends. By all accounts Corey should hate him.

But he didn’t seem to. He seemed more worried about Mason and his safety than anything else the last time he saw him. He just wishes there was a way to talk to him. Hearing Corey’s voice would calm him down. He knows it would. That’s not possible though.

He grabs his wallet from his pocket and pulls out one of the few pictures he has of him and Corey. It’s from one of the few dates they went on. They’d walked the mall a few towns over, laughing and holding hands. Then Corey had spotted a photo booth and had dragged Mason into it, insisting that they needed pictures together. Corey had kept half of the pictures while Mason got the other half. They’re a little warn from the amount of times Mason has pulled them out but he still loves them. They’re not as good as the real thing but for now they’ll have to do.

The next morning Mason wakes up to find Liam gone. He gets nervous until he looks outside to see Liam once again by the fence. Mason walks out, his eyes instantly drawn to where the sun is rising in the distance. It’s unlike anything he’s ever seen before. Back home be never had much time for sunrises. Now he wishes he took the time to admire them more.

“Wow that was pretty,” Mason breathes, coming to stand next to Liam.

“Yeah,” Liam sighs.

“The mist was pretty,” Mason says, “all gold and silver. It’s too bad it couldn’t stay like that all the time.”

“Nothing gold can stay,” Liam says, his face thoughtful.

“What?”

 _"Nature's first green is gold,_  
_Her hardest hue to hold._  
_Her early leaf’s a flower;_  
_But only so an hour._  
_Then leaf subsides to leaf._  
_So Eden sank to grief,|_  
_So dawn goes down to day._  
_Nothing gold can stay."_

Mason stares at Liam, “Where’d you learn that? That was what I meant.”

“Robert Frost wrote it,” Liam says. “He meant more to it than I’m getting though. I always remembered it because I never quite got what it meant.”

They stay outside and finish watching the sunrise before making their way back in. Liam pulls out _Gone with the Wind_  and starts reading it aloud to him. They pass the time with that and playing cards. Mason is grateful for it. At least with those things he’s able to be distracted and not think about what he’d done or what he lies ahead for them.

***

The drive to Windrixville is only a few hours but it still feels long to Theo. He just can’t shake the feeling that something bad is about to happen. He tries to brush it off but it sits there like a heavy weight on his shoulders. Theo sighs and turns on the radio, only to groan when he hears what song’s playing.

 _Oh, I can't fight this feeling any longer_  
_And yet I'm still afraid to let it flow_  
_What started out this friendship has grown stronger_  
_I only wish I had the strength to let it show_

Jesus Christ. It’s like the damn song is mocking him or something. Still, he doesn’t change it. He lets it play and if he starts singing along, well no one is around to see him. Just because he’s singing and knows all the words doesn’t mean anything. It’s not as if he can relate to the song when it comes to a certain dark haired, green eyed asshole. Not at all.

Yeah, he’s not fooling anybody, not even himself. This whole situation with Derek was getting a little bit ridiculous. He _knows_ he has feelings for the guy and yet he keeps brushing them off. He tells himself it’s to protect his heart in case something happens and he loses Derek but he knows that’s bullshit. He’s already too far in. If something happened to Derek today he’d still be devastated about losing him, if not more because he’d have the weight of regret hanging over him.

Theo grips the steering wheel and drives. This was going to end when he got back, one way or another.

 

Theo has to laugh when he walks into the church and sees Liam and Mason. They’re sleeping sprawled out on a couple benches and apparently they decided to disguise themselves. He walks over to Liam, bending over him and ruffling his hair, “Hey blondie.”

Liam rubs his eyes, “Hey T.”

Theo chuckles, giving him an affectionate knock to the head, “Wake up.”

“How have you been?” Liam asks.

Theo is already moving on to the bench Mason is sleeping on, kicking at it. “Hey Mason. Rise and shine man.”

The kids immediately start asking questions as he takes a look around. Liam asks about Stiles and Mason about the cops.

“Wait, one thing at a time,” he tells them, walking back towards them. “You want to get something to eat? I’m starving.”

“You’re starved,” Mason grumbles. “Try bologna for 4 days.”

Theo chuckles, asking Mason for a cigarette. He pulls the letter that Stiles had given him out of his pocket, “Got a special delivery for Ponyboy Dunbar.”

“Who’s this from?” Liam asks, taking the letter and examining it.

Theo fights the urge to roll his eyes. This kid. “The President of the United States of America.”

“Yeah right.”

“I’m serious,” Theo smirks. “From your brother. Sodapop.”

“How’d he know I was here?” Liam asks.

Theo walks over to look out the window, “I told him I didn’t know where you were but he didn’t believe me so he wrote that. He really wanted me to give that to you man. He eavesdropped on my conversation with Derek just to see if I was telling the truth about not knowing where you were.”

“Derek?”

Theo sighs, walking over to one of the tables and leaning against it, “Yeah your big brother is super worried about you, Pony.”

“I doubt it,” Liam mumbles.

“Hey,” Theo says, pointing a finger at Liam. “He may be a bit of a hardass sometimes but that man cares about you and he’s worried sick. You haven’t seen him but I have. I’ve been there with him through all this shit.”

“Except when you got hauled in,” Liam says.

“You got hauled in?” Mason asks. “What for?”

Theo waves them off, “Those guys down at the station know me by name. They’ll haul me in for anything. While I was there they beat it out of me that you guys are in, get this, Texas. They think you guys are in Texas. Texas man. God.”

Theo looks over at Liam and nods, “Look at this guy with his hair. I can’t believe that,” he bites his tongue and shoots Liam a wink. “Blondie man.”

“I know I look lousy but don’t rub it in,” Liam grumbles.

“I have a letter for you too, Mase,” Theo says, pulling out the letter that Corey had given him.

Liam looks curiously at the two of them but Theo doesn’t say anything else. He doesn’t know what Liam knows about Corey and he’s not about to blow this for Mason. The kid is entitled to his secrets. Mason’s eyes widen as he reads over the letter, eyes snapping up to meet Theo’s. He mouths a quiet “thank you.”

Theo nods and ruffles his hair before pushing off the wall, “Come on. Let’s go get food.”

Theo drives recklessly, taking them to Dairy Queen. He talks about what’s going on back home. “It’s chaos. Everywhere it’s Socs vs Greasers. Nolan Holloway's gang is going to rumble with the Socs in a few days. You know the Soc with the red hair? What’s her name? Lydia?”

“Yeah but people call her Cherry,” Liam says.

“Yeah well she’s been spying for us, telling us what’s been going on with the socs. She said she’d testify on your behalf, say it was self-defense. Same with the boy Corey.”

Mason’s head snaps in his direction, “Corey?”

Theo nods, “He seems to have a vested interest in getting you two off the hook.”

“Why?” Liam asks. “He was Gabe’s friend.”

“They weren’t as close as you think,” Theo says, his eyes not leaving Mason. “His worries lie elsewhere.”

Mason takes a shuddering breath and nods before going back to his food. Theo takes that as his cue to do the same.

There’s silence as they eat before Mason speaks, “I want to go back and turn myself in.”

Theo wheels on him, “What?”

“I want to go back and turn myself in,” Mason says again.

“What? Are you crazy?” Theo asks. “You can’t do that.”

“I can and I will.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Theo says. “After everything I’ve done. I got you this hideout, this nice little hideout. And now you want to throw it all away and go turn yourself in. Jesus Christ.”

“You just said they know it was self-defense,” Mason says. “but I can’t keep living like this. Pony can’t. His family is worried. I don’t suppose my parents asked about me?”

Theo glares at him, “Forget about them. You don’t need them. We’re the family you need.”

“Yeah but did they? Ask about me?”

“No they didn’t ask about you,” Theo spits out. “You think my old man gives a rat’s ass about me? No. He wouldn’t care if I was dead in a ditch somewhere but I’m fine.”

Theo sighs, throwing the car into reverse and pulling out of the parking lot. He’s furious, beyond furious. “You get mean in jail. I don’t want to see that happen to you like it happened to me,” he says as he drives them towards the church. He’s done all this for the kid, did what he could to protect him, and now he wants to give all that up.

“Holy shit,” Liam breathes when they come over the hill and the church comes into view.

Holy shit is right. The church is on fire, blazing flames rising from the building. Theo speeds towards it, his curiosity getting the better of him. When they get there there’s a group gathered outside, parents and children standing there with their mouths hanging open in shock. Then there’s a commotion as they realize some of the kids are missing and must be still inside.

“We have to help,” Liam says, unbuckling his seatbelt.

“You can’t be serious…”

Theo watches as Liam runs towards the church, Mason getting out the car and running after him soon after, “You’re going to get him?” he sighs, throwing his hands up.

He sits there a moment, debating his options. But he already knows what he’s going to do. There was never a choice when those stupid kids ran towards the flames. He runs to the other side of the church, breaking the board off the window when he hears the kids inside. Mason and Liam immediately start handing kids out to him.

“Get them and get the hell out,” he tells them, not liking the way the fire is looking. This building wasn’t going to last much longer. Screw the kids. He needs Mason and Liam out of there _now_.

“Mason! Mason! Come on, are you crazy?”

He pulls Liam out of the window backwards, “You’re burning, you idiot.”

Theo watches as Mason heads towards the window, only to get knocked down when a burning board falls on his back. Christ. He throws Liam onto the ground, attempting to put out the flames. He’s checking to see if he’s conscious when he hears a pained and panicked yell from Mason.

He doesn’t even think before turning around and running back towards the window, batting away the smoke. “I’m coming Mase!”

He dives through the window, warily looking towards the ceiling. It was going to come down at any moment. That doesn’t matter now. He needs to get to Mason. He grabs the kid, hefting him up and out of the building. He’s coughing and trying to see as he attempts to crawl out. There’s an ominous crack from overhead at the same time hands grab his jacket. Then there’s nothing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Kudos/Comments make my day.  
> [My tumblr](http://tabbytabbytabby.tumblr.com/)


	5. Chapter 5

Derek almost faints when he gets the call from Melissa telling him that Liam has been brought to the hospital, along with Mason and Theo. He’s filled with a sense of dread when she tells him there was a fire and the three of them had almost been trapped. She says bystanders reported that Liam and Mason ran into the burning building to rescue some kids that were trapped inside. They might not have made it out if it wasn’t for Theo. Derek apparently owes Theo a lot. He just hopes he’s alright. It’s hard enough being worried about Liam and Mason too. Theo is a whole different kind of worry.

He’s hit with so much immense relief when he steps out of the elevator and sees Liam walking up to Stiles. He stands back, letting them have their moment, unsure how Liam will react to seeing him. He knows they didn’t leave things on the best terms, but after everything that doesn’t seem to matter. He’s been so worried about Liam.

“Liam?” Derek says when Stiles releases him.

“Derek,” Liam breathes, rushing over and into his arms. All Derek can do is hold on and cry. His brother is safe and alive and here with him.

“I thought we’d lost you like Mom,” he sobs, holding on as tight as he can while Stiles wraps his arms around them both. He clutches Stiles shirt as he cries into Liam’s neck.

Finally, he pulls back, putting his hands on Liam’s shoulders as he gives a wet laugh, “You sure look funny.”

Stiles ruffles his hair and then they’re both pulling Liam back in for a hug. They were so worried. If Theo hadn’t admitted to getting Liam and Mason out and knowing where they were he doesn’t know what he would have done. Theo…

Derek pulls back, glancing around the hallway, looking for a familiar smirk and pair of green eyes, “Is Theo okay?”

Liam nods, giving him a knowing look, “He’s fine. A little banged up and pissed off. Typical Theo. They just rolled him by. Mason though…” Liam glances down the hallway, “he didn’t look so good.”

“I’m sure he’ll be fine,” Stiles says. “He has some great doctors and Melissa to look after him. And Theo well,” he smirks over at Derek. “You know he’s too stubborn to die. He’ll be out and driving you crazy in no time.”

Derek certainly hopes so. He wants nothing more than to run through the hospital until he finds Theo and tell him what a damn idiot he is and maybe kiss his stupid face. Right now there are other things he has to worry about. “We’ll come visit them tomorrow,” Derek says. “For now you need some rest and a shower.”

Stiles nods his head in agreement, “Yeah let’s go home, Ponyboy.”

Derek isn’t the least bit surprised when Liam falls asleep on the drive home. He sighs, walking around to the passenger’s side and opening Liam’s door. He’s careful as he lifts him up into his arms, “Let’s go little brother. We’re home.”

“He’s getting pretty big to be carried,” Stiles comments, closing the truck door and following him up the walkway before moving around him to open the gate and the front door.

Derek knows he should put Liam to bed but he’s covered in smoke and grime and needs a shower. He shares a look with Stiles who shrugs, “We could at least wash his face.”

Stiles nods and goes into the bathroom ahead of him. He readies a washcloth before bringing it up to Liam’s face and carefully washing it. After that he washes his arms and hands before throwing the washcloth in the hamper. It would have to do for now.

They strip Liam down to his boxers and then tuck him into bed. Derek goes to his room and changes into some sweats and a tank top before returning to Stiles and Liam’s room. Stiles smiles and scoots over, pulling Liam back with him. Liam doesn’t even wake up. He must really be exhausted.

Derek slips under the covers and curls up next to Liam. He’d normally sleep in his own bed but right now he needs to be close to his brother and know he’s okay. He expects to stay up and keep an eye on Liam but he falls asleep surprisingly quick.

 

He wakes up early the next morning, wanting to get in the shower early knowing that Stiles and Liam are going to need it. He finishes up and heads into his room to get dressed. When he’s in there he hears what must be Stiles heading into the bathroom and then the shower turning on. Soon there’s the sound of people entering the house and the commotion of talking and the TV turning on.

He’s not the least bit surprised that Scott and Brett are here. Scott always comes over to ride with Stiles to work and Brett spends more time in front of their TV than he does in his own home.

“Where is Soda and Superdope anyhow?” Derek hears Scott asking.

He exits his room, picking up Scott from behind and moving him away from the cake he was eating at the same time the bathroom door opens to reveal Stiles in nothing but a towel, “Super what?”

“All brawn and no brains,” Scott mutters.

Stiles asks about his work clothes and there’s some commotion as Stiles and Scott bicker.

“Derek?” Liam asks, walking out of the bathroom and towards him.

“Hey hurry up, you’re going to be late,” he calls to Stiles.

“Derek?” Liam tries again, “You uh… you hear about that juvenile court thing?”

Derek nods, pulling on his shirt. He’s half aware of Brett attempting to balance his shoes on a bunch of bear cans next to him but his attention stays fixed on Liam. “Yeah the cops told me about it last night.”

“Hey I tell you what,” Stiles says. “After we stomp the Socs real good, Scott and I are going to throw a party and everyone is going to get ripped.”

Derek keeps his eyes on Liam as Stiles talks and Scott whoops his approval. At least until Liam smiles and moves away.

Derek smiles, looking at Stiles over his shoulder, “Hey. Where you gonna get the dough little man?”

Stiles rolls his eyes, “I got some money.”

Derek shoots him a look letting him know he doesn’t quite believe him. Still, even with how tight money is Derek doesn’t think he could deny Stiles and the others a night to just relax and be happy. Especially after everything that’s happened.

“I have to get to work,” Derek says. “You sure you’re going to be alright Liam? I could always take the day off.”

“I’ll be fine,” Liam tells him. “You need to work. We need the money.”

Derek sighs. He knows Liam is right. He still doesn’t like it. It’s bad enough he had to take time off when Liam was missing. He can’t justify another day.

“Fine, but I’ll come by the hospital on my lunch.”

“So you can see _Theo_ ,” Stiles smirks, earning a swat from Derek. Stiles laughs and jumps back. “Please tell me you’re going to make a move already. All this pining has been driving us all crazy.”

“You know it’s more complicated than that,” Derek says. “He’s not ready.”

“He almost died,” Stiles says. “If there’s ever a time to say fuck it and kiss the guy it’s now.”

Derek shakes his head, shoving Stiles’ shoulder lightly, “You mind your own business and get to work.”

“Oh look he’s avoiding the subject again. What a surprise.” Stiles shoots him a grin and grabs his things from the table. He pulls Liam in for a hug, ruffling his hair when he pulls back, “I’ll see you later, alright?”

Liam nods, “Yeah yeah. Get out of here.”

“I really don’t like leaving you alone,” Derek says, hesitating by the door.

“He won’t be alone,” Brett says, looking away from the TV where he’s currently watching Mickey Mouse. “I’ll be with him.”

“I’m not sure if that makes me feel any better,” Derek jokes.

Brett puts a hand over his heart, “You wound me.”

Derek rolls his eyes, pats Liam on the shoulder, and then heads out the door. He hates leaving him right now, especially after everything they’ve been through but he knows he needs to work. He’ll use his lunch break to check up on him. The construction site he’s working on is right down the street from the hospital so it shouldn’t take too long to get there.

He tries his best to focus at work but his thoughts keep drifting to Theo. He can’t get what Stiles said out of his head. Maybe he was right. Maybe he would just admit how he feels to Theo. Taking action doesn’t have to mean he expects anything. He’s just putting it out there and letting Theo know.

When his lunch break rolls around Derek drives to the hospital as quickly as he can. Liam and Brett are leaving Mason’s room when he gets there, their faces grim. Derek takes a look inside the room and feels his heart break at the sight. Mason is on his stomach, burns all across his back, and that’s just what he can see.

“He’s not in good shape, is he?” Derek asks as they walk down the hall.

“He just got all worked up at the mention of his Mom and passed out. He…” Brett takes a deep breath before shaking his head. “Poor kid.”

“What’s happened to your gown?” the nurse is asking Theo as they enter the room.

“I threw it away,” Theo replies with a smirk.

The nurse sighs, “I’m going to be so glad when you’re out of here.”

“Out, just get out. You’re making my stomach sick,” Theo says, laughing as she leaves the room.

Derek is torn between laughing and rolling his eyes. At least Theo is still Theo.

“Hey, how you doing?” Brett asks.

Theo turns to him with a grin, “Hey, how you doing man?” He eyes move to where Derek’s standing behind him with Liam. His voice is softer when he speaks. “Hey Der. Pony.”

“Theo,” Derek says. “It’s good to see you.”

“I bought you a gift, man,” Brett tosses Theo the Rubik’s cube he’d bought down in the gift shop to him. Theo throws his covers off and gets out of bed, making his way over to one of the drawers in the room. Derek’s eyes track the muscles of his back down lower until he realizes what he’s doing and makes himself look away. It’s not his fault Theo’s only in his underwear and right now they’re leaving very little to the imagination.

Theo messes around in the drawer before walking back into the bed and collapsing onto it, pulling the covers up just a little. He talks about Nolan and the rumble before his face goes serious. “How is he? How’s Mason doing?”

Derek feels his chest tighten. He’d just peaked in the room but it was enough to show him how bad off Mason is. He knows what that information will do to Theo.

“Look T,” Brett says, “I don’t know about stuff like this but he didn’t look too good. He passed out cold before we left.”

Derek is a little wary when Theo rolls over away from them and immediately asks Brett for his blade. Brett flips it open and hands it over, face grim.

“Thank you,” Theo says. “You know we gotta win that fight tonight. We gotta get even with those Socs.” He slams his hands down, the blade piercing the bed. Then he’s turning around to face them. “Let’s do it for Mason, man. We’ll do it for Mason.”

He falls back onto the bed, panting and brings the knife up to his head. Derek doesn’t like the look in his eyes. It worries him. He’s seen what it’s like when Theo goes dark and spirals and that look is usually there.

Liam and Brett leave soon after but Derek stays behind. After everything that’s happened he needs to be around Theo. To know that he’s safe and not going to do anything stupid.

“Theo,” Derek says, moving until he’s sitting on the edge of the bed. He falls silent when Theo’s eyes snap to his.

“I don’t need a babysitter,” Theo mutters.

“That’s not why I stayed.”

“Then why are you still here?” Theo asks, “You should be with Liam.”

“Liam’s fine for now,” Derek says. “And you know why I’m here. I care about you and I’m worried.”

“I’m not the one you should be worried about.”

“Maybe not,” Derek says, his voice breaking a bit. He squeezes Theo’s shoulder, smiling when Theo’s hand comes up to rest on his. “I’ll always worry about you damn it. When I heard you were in here…” Derek takes a shuddering breath. “I care about you more than you could ever know Theo. And I would lose it if something happened to you. Which is why I need you to be safe.”

Theo’s face softens as he squeezes Derek’s hand, “I’ll do my best.”

“Good,” Derek says, his eyes scanning Theo’s face. His heart is racing. He leans in without an ounce of hesitation and kisses Theo. He half expects Theo to push him off and cuss him out or something. But instead there’s a hand coming up to rest on his cheek as Theo kisses him back. Derek keeps it soft, just letting his lips brush against Theo’s. He just needs him to understand that he’s here and not going anywhere.

“Good,” Derek murmurs when he pulls back. “Because when this is all over I’m taking you out to dinner.” He pauses, rubbing the back of his neck. "Or maybe I’ll make you something since money is tight. But it’ll be special.”

Derek can see the hesitation in Theo’s face, but then he’s giving Derek an easy smile. “I look forward to it.”

Derek grins before leaning in to kiss him again, “I have to get back to work but I’ll come back and visit, okay?”

“Don’t bother,” Theo says, “I won’t be here much longer.”

“Theo…” Derek sighs.

“Don’t try to talk me out of it Der. I’m gonna get out of here and be at the rumble tonight.”

Derek rests his forehead against Theo’s, “I wish you wouldn’t but I know your stubborn ass is going to do it regardless of what I say.”

“At least you know when to pick your battles,” Theo says, grinning up at him.

Derek shakes his head, “All of you are the reason I’m going to be grey headed before I’m 30.”

Theo runs his hand through his hair, face thoughtful, “I think you’d look good with some grey.”

“Maybe but I’m still hoping to make it into my 30’s at least,” Derek says.

“Yeah,” Theo says. “I hope to see you when you’re 30.”

“You will,” Derek tells him. “If it all works out, it’ll be quite often.”

“You’ve thought about it?”

Derek shrugs, “Maybe.”

“Well you can tell me all about it when all this is over,” Theo tells him. “When we have that dinner.”

“I took forward to it.”

Derek places a lingering kiss to Theo’s lips. Now that he knows he can, it’s hard not to. Fortunately Theo doesn’t seem to mind all that much. He feels a little lighter with the promise of a date with Theo, but under all that he can’t help but feel an unease settle in. He can’t shake the feeling that something is going to happen tonight. He pushes it aside and kisses Theo again, letting himself get lost in it for a moment. Soon he’ll have to go but for now he lets himself have this moment with Theo.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just gonna apologize in advance for this chapter because this is where the real angst happens.

Corey’s feet feel like lead as he walks the halls of the hospital looking for Mason’s room. He’s not sure what he’s expecting to see. The papers have been saying that he’s not doing too well. It makes his chest ache that Mason has been suffering and he hasn’t been here to help him.

But he’s here now. He knows his friends will probably give him shit but he doesn’t care. He’s tired of all this. He’s tired of the popularity and everything he has, not because he worked for it or deserves it but because it’s what he was born into. He hates that because of that he’s automatically supposed to look down on anyone that has less than him. It doesn’t make sense.

Mason is this bright, amazing person and he deserves a heck of a lot better than the lot that he’s been given. Especially now. If Mason makes it out of here Corey promises himself he’s going to get him away from here. They’ll start a new life together. They’ll be happy. Screw everyone else. The _if_ hangs heavily in his mind. He hates it, but he knows it’s true.

That becomes even more apparent when he opens the door to Mason’s room and sees the state he’s in. Mason’s eyes are closed and his breathing is shallow. There are burns covering almost every inch of skin Corey can see. Corey has to close his eyes for a moment to calm himself down.

“I really look that bad, huh?” Mason asks, his voice cracking when he speaks.

Corey’s eyes snap open as he stumbles the rest of the way into the room and over to Mason’s side, “Hey Mase.”

Mason gives him a small smile, “Hey Cor. I wasn’t sure if you’d show up.”

“Of course I did,” Corey tells him, taking a seat on the edge of the bed and taking Mason’s hand in his, “I knew your friends would be visiting a lot and didn’t want to cause any trouble so I waited a bit. But now they’re… well the rumble is happening now so that’s not a problem.”

“And you’re not going?”

Corey shakes his head, “I’m done with all that. The fighting. It’s stupid. I’d much rather be here with you.”

“I’m glad you are,” Mason tells him.

They sit there in silence for a while, Corey just rubbing his thumb across Mason’s knuckles are his eyes track over his face, just taking him in. It breaks his heart to see him like this, but he’s grateful Mason is alive. He tries not to think about how bad it is.

“You know when you get out of here we should just leave,” Corey says, trying to distract himself from the places his thoughts were taking him.

“What?”

“Leave. We should get the hell away from this place,” Corey tells him, “this place isn’t good for either of us. All this constant fighting and hate. We should go someplace where we can just be together and be happy.”

“Like in the mountains,” Mason suggests, a small smile tugging at his lips.

Corey is grateful. At least Mason is humoring him. “The mountains would be nice. They have beautiful views. Though there’s the risk of getting snowed in.”

“Getting snowed in with you wouldn’t be so bad,” Mason says.

“No,” Corey whispers, ducking his head to hide the tears building behind his eyes. “No it really wouldn’t.”

Corey looks up when there’s a hand on his face, “It’s alright Cor.”

Corey shakes his head, wiping the tears from his eyes with his free hand, “It’s not alright. You shouldn’t even be in here.”

Mason sighs, “Come here.”

Corey let’s Mason guide him down and then they’re kissing, their lips brushing softly together. Corey is crying by the end of it, “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Mason says, wiping the tears from his eyes. “I need you to do something for me, okay?”

Corey nods, the movement brushing their noses together. “What is it?”

“Can you get some paper and a pen?”

“Sure, but why?” Corey asks, finding a pad of paper and a pen across the room and bringing them over.

“I want to write a letter to Liam,” Mason says, “I just finished Gone with the Wind and I have some things he needs to hear.”

Corey’s throat tightens a bit at that. If Mason’s writing a letter to Liam that means he thinks he might not get to tell him these things. Corey wants to scream and cry and argue and tell him he can just wait and tell Liam all these things himself. But he doesn’t. He takes a deep breath and nods his head, pen poised over the paper as he prepares to write.

*

Derek makes a big dinner that night of chicken, roasted potatoes, and carrots. He usually needs to because all three of them usually eat a ton. Tonight though Liam doesn’t seem to be eating as much. He tries not to let it worry him, but it does.

After they’re done Brett and Scott show up to start getting ready for the rumble. They always try to dress up a bit before the fight to show the Socs that they’re not trash. He sticks to jeans and a nice, tight black t-shirt. When he’s done he leans against the wall and watches the others mess around as they get ready. Liam is asking Stiles why he likes fights. Stiles looks a little puzzled by the question as if he never really thought about it. He probably hasn’t.

“How come you like fights Der?” Liam asks him. Derek keeps his arms crossed and tries to keep his face unreadable.

“He likes to show off his muscles,” Stiles jokes, shooting a smirk in his direction.

 Derek points over at Stiles, “Hey I’m going to show ‘em off on you little buddy if you get any mouthier.”

He finishes putting on his shirt and addresses Liam, “Hey Pony, I don’t know if you should be in this rumble.”

He honestly doesn't think _any_ of them should be doing this but he knows there’s no way around it. He hates fighting but he’ll do it if it means making sure he people he cares about are safe. That doesn’t mean he likes the idea of his little brother being in this fight.

“How come?” Liam asks, “I’ve come through before, haven’t I?”

Of course Liam would think Derek not wanting him there is because he doesn’t think Liam can handle himself in a fight. Derek huffs a laugh, hitting him playfully in the chest, “Yeah but you know you were in shape before and I… you know you aren’t looking so good. You’re tensed up all the time.”

“Come on Der,” Stiles says, walking up behind him. “Let him fight. Everyone is tensed up before a rumble. It’s skin against skin. He’s not gonna get hurt, is he?”

“Come on, I’ll grab hold of a little one,” Liam says, swatting his arm lightly.

“Well we will need every man we can get but I don’t know.”

“Look, if it was knives or chains or something it would be different. I’ll be okay.”

“Alright,” Derek sighs, “But you be careful, okay?”

“I will be,” Liam says, then gestures over at Stiles, “How come you never worry about him so much?”

“Man that’s one kid brother I don’t have to worry about,” Derek says, putting an arm around Stiles’ shoulders. “This kid can use his head. At least for one thing. To grow hair on.”

He rubs Stiles’ head and then takes off out the door, Stiles right on his tail. He can hear the sound of Scott, Brett, and Liam following him. They all run, dancing and laughing and doing tricks as they make their way down the street.

They arrive at the lot to see Nolan Holloway and his gang. They all greet each other and then stand there, waiting. Soon after a parade of cars pull up next to the lot and the Socs get out. Derek keeps his face blank when he sees his former classmate and friend Jackson Whittemore leading the group.

“The odds are as even as they can get. You stay close to me,” Derek tells Liam before stepping forward, the others filing in beside and behind him.

“Hello Derek,” Jackson says, hands shoved in the pockets of his letterman jacket and a smug smile on his face, “Long time no see.”

Derek nods, “Hello Jackson.”

He can hear people talking behind him, most likely questioning how the two know each other, but his eyes stay trained on Jackson.

“I’ll take you,” Jackson tells him.

Then suddenly there’s a loud crack of thunder as rain starts pouring down and the rumble is in full force. Derek is momentarily distracted when Theo comes running into the lot but he quickly refocuses. Jackson might act tough but it was always an act. Derek punches him repeatedly in the stomach while he screams before aiming a hard blow to Jackson’s face.

Once he’s down Derek takes a chance to look around at the field, needing to see if anyone needs assistance. Stiles, Brett, and Scott all look fine. Theo’s also handling himself well. He can’t see Liam though. His attention returns to Jackson when he jumps up and attempts to charge at him. Derek knocks him back down easily and starts kicking him. It’s all a mess. The rain is pouring down heavily around them and there’s mud everywhere.

He takes great joy when all the Socs start scurrying out of the field. He quickly checks on Liam before he gets pulled away. When he looks back, Liam is gone.

*

When it’s all over Theo spots Liam in a heap on the ground and rushes over to him. He grabs him under his arms and starts dragging him away from the celebration.

“You okay?” He asks, “Come on. Let’s go.”

Theo drives fast and reckless, needing to get to the hospital to see Mason. He just has a feeling they need to be there. Of course a cop has to spot them and pull him over. But he has a plan.

“Act sick,” he tells Liam, “pretend like I’m taking you to the hospital.”

“You’ve gotta have a good reason for driving like that,” the officer says, shining a light into the car and peeking in at them. “Where’s the fire?”

Theo glances from the cop over to where Liam is almost passed out in the seat. He really does look terrible. “The kid, he fell off his motorcycle. I’m taking him to the hospital.”

“How bad is he?” The cop asks.

“I don’t know man. Do I look like a doctor? He looks pretty bad to me. I don’t know,” he smirks when the cop walks back to his motorcycle, “Sucker.”

The cops gets in front of them and leads the way to the hospital.

“It’s crazy, you know that. It’s crazy wanting Mason to stay out of trouble. If he was smart like me he never would have been in this mess. If he was smart like me he wouldn’t have ran into that church. You better wise up. You just better wise up Liam. Get tough like me and you don’t get hurt. Watch out for yourself and nothing, nothing,” he hits the steering wheel, “can touch you man.”

He knows it’s a lie. He’s hurting right now. He’s hurting a lot. Mason is innocent. He’s good. He doesn’t deserve this.

Theo leads Liam down the hallways, having to hold him up because the kid can barely walk. They’re both pretty banged up from the fight but Liam looks a hell of a lot worse. He’s about to walk into Mason’s room when he hears a voice and realizes Corey is in there visiting him. He wants to visit Mason but he’s not about to intrude when he’s talking to his boyfriend.

“I love you Mase,” Corey says, brushing the hair back from Mason’s hair. He’s clearly crying.

“I love you too,” Mason whispers, “So much. You… you made me so happy.”

“You made me happy too babe,” Corey chokes out, “but let’s not talk in past tense okay. You’re…”

“No,” Mason says, “I’m not going to make it Cor. We both know that.”

“Mase…” Corey is full on sobbing on.

“Just be happy, okay?” Mason croaks, “Be happy for me.”

“I will,” Corey nods. He looks over and notices Liam and Theo standing in the doorway and gives them a watery smile before turning back to Mason, “Liam and Theo are here to see you. I’ll give you…”

“No,” Mason says, “Can you… I need you to stay. If I…”

Theo feels his chest constrict that what Mason is implying. He seriously thinks he’s going to die.

“Hey. Hey Mason,” Theo says, walking up to Mason’s hospital bed and sitting down in the chair next to it. “We beat the Socs. We chased them right out of our neighborhood.”

He sees Corey’s eyes widen at that. It’s then that Theo realizes he hadn’t been at the rumble. He must have come here to be with Mason instead.

“It’s useless,” Mason says, voice quiet and thin.

“Huh?”

“Fighting isn’t any good,” Mason says.

“You know they still write editorials about you in the paper, about you being a hero,” Theo tells him, gently grabbing his arm. “We’re all proud of you buddy. It’s going to be alright.”

Mason gives him a small smile before turning to where Liam is standing on the other side of the bed next to Corey, “Ponyboy,” his words come slow and hoarse. Liam has to lean in close to hear him, “Stay gold Ponyboy. Stay gold.”

Then he closes his eyes and doesn’t open them again. Across from him Corey sobs, bringing his hands up to his mouth.

“Mason, come on,” Theo says, shaking his arm. It’s no use. He’s gone. Theo is suddenly angry, “So this is what you get huh? This is what you get for helping people. You little punk. Come on Mason.”

His words come out choked up, tears threatening to spill. “Don’t die.”

Corey’s on his knees now, Mason’s hand in his own as he sobs into the mattress, “Mason.”

Theo ducks his head, feeling such a storm of emotions. Anger and devastation being the prominent ones.

“Come on,” he tries again, knowing it's hopeless, “Come on Mason. Don’t die on me now. Please.”

Theo puts his head on his arm, tears falling freely now. He brings a hand up, pinching his nose as he sobs. Then he’s flying from his seat and stumbling over to the wall and punching it, “Bastards.”

He leans his head on the wall, Corey’s sobs reaching his ears and making it all that much worse. His grief takes over as he cries. Mason didn’t deserve to die like this. He didn’t deserve to die at all. He looks at Mason one last time, to see that Corey has thrown himself across Mason’s chest and is now sobbing into his neck as he whispers Mason’s name and tells him he loves him.

Then Theo leaves the room without looking back. He stumbles his way out of the hospital. He’s so far gone now. He has nothing left to lose. Which is why he has no problem with pulling his gun and pointing it at the head of the doctor that tells him he can’t be out here.

“I’m allowed to be wherever I want,” he tells the man. He pulls the trigger, knowing it’s empty, and laughs when the doctor walks around him. He pulls the trigger again, looking at the man as he stands on the other side of the door now, “Why do you bother helping people, huh?” he shouts, “It doesn't do any good!”

Theo runs. He’s not sure where he’s going. He just knows he can’t be at the hospital. He can’t be in the place where Mason just died. His thoughts go to Derek but he pushes them down. He can’t go there right now.

He winds up downtown in the small grocery store. He stands there, slipping through magazines, able to feel the eyes of the clerk on him. He doesn’t care. Mason’s gone. Nothing matters. He starts hitting the magazine rack, ignoring the clerk who clears his throat.

In the distance Theo can hear a train going by. All that does is remind him of Mason and all he’s lost. He starts flipping through one of the magazines, not really seeing the words. The clerk clears his throat and this time Theo does look, only briefly.

“You want to buy one of those son?” The man asks.

Theo knows he just wants him gone. He looks at Theo and he sees trash. Theo’s hot headed on a good day but tonight…

He holds the magazine up in the air and then rips it right down the middle. He doesn’t get any satisfaction out of it. He doesn’t feel much of anything right now.

“You know you tear those up, you have to pay for them. Don’t do that,” the clerk says.

Theo starts walking towards him, running his hand across the magazines as he goes. He walks until he’s standing just on the other side of the counter, reaching for this gun tucked into the back of his jeans but not pulling it. He’s wired far too tightly right now. It’s not going to take much to set him off. In fact, he’s counting on it.

“You know you gotta pay for that magazine,” the man tells him.

Theo pulls the gun, pointing it right at the man’s face. It might not be loaded but he doesn’t know that. Right now, Theo has nothing to lose. He’s angry at the world for all the pain it causes and he’s willing to take on anyone that gets in his way.

“Oh god, don’t shoot,” the man begs, visibly shaking.

Theo sighs, putting the gun just below the clerk’s eye and nodding down at the register, “Give me the money. Give me the money!”

“I’m sick of you punks,” the man mutters when Theo moves the gun to press into his cheek, “Take it and get out.”

Theo grabs the money and then he runs, dodging bullets when the clerk draws his own gun and fires. Theo runs and runs, knowing full well the cops are going to be after him. His only thought now is Derek. He needs to talk to Derek.

He runs until he finds a payphone and dials Derek’s number, hoping he’ll be home.

“Yeah?” a voice says.

“Hello? Derek?” Theo asks. He doesn’t know why. He knows it’s not Derek. He knows Derek’s voice well enough by now, even through a phone.

“No, this is Scott. Theo?”

“Scott?” Theo asks, glancing over his shoulder, “Let me talk to Derek.”

“Hello,” Theo hears Derek say, and he feels a teensy bit of relief filter through him.

“Hey listen,” Theo hates what he’s about to tell Derek, knowing it's going to worry and upset him, but he needs to do it, “I just knocked off a store. The cops are looking for me Der. I’m sorry. The date…”

“It will happen,” Derek says, voice firm, “Now where are you?”

“Can you come meet me in the park?” Theo asks.

“Sure T, are you alright?”

“Yeah Mason’s dead,” Theo says, hating how the words feel on his tongue, “Mason. Look, meet me in the park, will ya?”

“Hang on,” Derek says, “We’ll be right there.”

Theo hangs up, regret swirling in his gut. He should have told Derek how he feels. He knows there’s little chance of him making it out of this. He can’t think about that now. He needs to go.

He pushes away from the phone and takes off running again. He panics when he hears a cop car right behind him, propelling himself forward faster. Another cop pulls up next to the first. And then another. He’s essentially corned. He knows this is it. After everything, this is what he deserves.

He holds up the gun, shouting at the police, “You’re never going to take me alive!”

Any chance he might have had of making it out of this disappears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Kudos/Comments make my day.  
> [My tumblr](http://tabbytabbytabby.tumblr.com/)


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song used in this chapter: [Stay Gold](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y3QhA2WiyFI) by Stevie Wonder.  
> [My Way](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6E2hYDIFDIU) by Frank Sinatra was also listened to while writing this.

Derek feels his blood run cold as he races towards the park with Liam, Stiles, Scott, and Brett. As he races towards Theo. He can see the cop cars and in the middle of it all stands Theo. He has his gun drawn and his words fill Derek with dread. He’s so close. If he can just get there and explain the gun isn’t loaded…

The cops keep their guns trained on Theo, telling him to drop the gun. He doesn’t. And then they start firing. The cops get off two shots before Derek is there running into the line of fire and tackling Theo to the ground. Behind him he can hear the others shouting and telling the cops Theo’s gun’s not loaded. All Derek can focus on is Theo. He scoops Theo up into his arms, cupping his cheek with one of his hands, while the other attempts to put pressure on the worst of his wounds.

Theo stares up at Derek with tears in his eyes, “I think I really am going to miss that date. Pity, I was looking forward to it.”

“You shut up,” Derek growls. “You’re going to be fine.”

“I don’t think so Der,” Theo says. “I think this is it.”

Derek shakes his head, tears streaming down his face, “No. I love you, damn it. Don’t you dare fucking die on me.”

Derek hates himself for not saying the words sooner. That it took a moment like this for him to gather the courage to tell Theo just how deeply he cares for him. But he knows one thing, no matter what Theo says he will have more chances to say them.

Theo smiles sadly, stroking Derek’s cheek. “I love you too, even if I don’t deserve to. You made me so much better. You gave me a chance when no one else would. Thank you for that.”

“You can thank me by holding on,” Derek tells him, looking towards the sound of an ambulance approaching before his eyes drift back at Theo. “By _living_. The ambulance is almost here.”

“What kind of life would I have?” Theo mutters. “I’m going to jail.”

“And when you get out I’ll be here waiting for you. Whatever happens, we’ll figure it would. You just have to stay with me.”

Derek leans down and kisses him, not caring that their friends and a bunch of cops are watching. He loves Theo. He needs him to understand he has something to live for, “I love you Theo,” he murmurs. “So much. I can’t lose you too. Please don’t leave me.”

Theo closes his eyes, tears spilling down his cheeks as he clutches tightly to Derek, “It hurts.”

Derek knows Theo isn’t just talking about the gunshot wounds, if he’s even talking about them at all. No, he’s talking about Mason. His death is still fresh for all of them, but Theo had been there.

“I know it does,” Derek whispers. “I know. But you can’t give up. You have to keep fighting. Mason would want you to. I… I need you too.”

Theo sobs, tucking his face into Derek’s neck, “I’ll try.”

For now that would have to do. Trying is a start. It means he’s not giving up. Derek breathes a sigh of relief when the ambulance pulls to a stop a few feet away. He reluctantly lets go when the paramedics move in to lift Theo onto a stretcher.

“I’ll drive the others to the hospital if you want to ride with Theo,” Stiles says, appearing next to him.

Derek nods and moves to get into the ambulance but is stopped by a police officer, “I’m sorry but you can’t go with him. It’s too dangerous.”

Derek narrows his eyes, standing his ground, “He’s not dangerous. The gun wasn’t even loaded. Someone close to us just died and he’s grieving. And I _am_ going with him even if you have to put me in cuffs right along with him.”

Derek knows it’s a risk. If he does get arrested it could have long term repercussions when it comes to keeping custody of Stiles and Liam. He just hopes the cop doesn’t decide to call him on it. The officer looks to the paramedic who shrugs, “I’m fine with it. It might help keep him calm.”

What they hadn’t been counting on was keeping Derek calm when Theo’s heart stops on the way to the hospital.

***

Derek knows he should be used to having to move on after losing someone but it doesn’t get any easier. Losing someone is bad enough but having to go through planning their funeral and worrying about how to pay for it is a whole different thing. It’s shitty. When you lose someone you should be able to focus on that grief and not worry about whether paying for a decent casket is going to make you short on money for food for the week.

“How much is this one?” Derek asks, looking down at the simple brown coffin. It’s not much but he thinks it might have to do. He hates it. He deserves better than to be put into the ground in something so plain.

“It’s okay,” a voice sounds from behind Derek. “I’ve taken care of all of this.”

Derek turns around to see Corey standing there in the doorway. He looks from Derek to the coffin as he steps into the room. He walks over to one of the fancier ones, running his hand along the edge. “I umm... I picked out this one. It costs a little more but I wanted,” Corey takes a deep breath and closes his eyes for a moment. “I wanted Mason to have something nice.”

Derek nods, walking over to stand by Corey. Of course Corey would feel the need to take care of all this. Mason was his boyfriend. They loved each other.

“I’m sorry about Mason,” Derek says, eyes focused on the blue interior of the coffin. “I never realized how close you two were. If I had…”

“I know,” Corey tells him. “We weren’t sure how anyone would react to us dating. Well, how my friends would have. Even some of yours,” Derek looks over to see Corey’s eyes on him. “You and your family might have been okay with it but we both know some of the others might not have been. They wouldn’t have understood why someone like me would want to be with someone like Mason and the other way around. But we… none of that mattered when we were together. We weren’t a Soc or a Greaser. We were just Corey and Mason. Just people who loved each other.”

“That’s how it should be,” Derek says. “When you love someone you should be able to be with them. It’s not fair that that got taken away from you so soon.”

Corey nods, swallowing thickly, “How’s umm… how’s Theo doing?”

“I talked to him before they carted him off to jail yesterday,” Derek says. “He’s upset he has to miss the funeral but the judge wouldn’t let him have even a few hours.”

“Mason would understand,” Corey says. “He’d just want Theo to be safe.”

“Well for now he is,” Derek says.

“He’s here because of you,” Corey tells him. “You ran into the line of fire and pushed him out of the way before he could get hurt too bad. He was ready to go out but you got him to hold on.”

“You’ve been talking to Liam,” Derek sighs.

Corey’s lips twitch up into a small smile, “Maybe a bit. I called over to the house looking for you and we talked for a bit.”

Derek nods. At least Liam is talking to someone. He’s completely closed himself off from everyone else. He’s just floating along as if nothing has happened. As if he hadn’t just lost his best friend. But maybe Corey can understand what he’s feeling a little better than anyone else can. Except maybe Theo. But Derek doesn’t see the two of them having a heart to heart.

“You know you didn’t have to do all this,” Derek says, gesturing down at the coffin.

Corey ducks his head, rubbing the back of his neck, “It’s… I want to. I need to do something. I feel so helpless in other areas when it comes to Mason right now. This is something I can manage. I have the money. And I’m prepared to pay for any funeral expenses.”

“Corey…”

Corey looks up at him, his eyes red and wet, “Please,” he begs. “Just let me do this for him. He wouldn’t want you worrying about all these expenses when you have enough to worry about. This is the last thing I can give him.”

Derek nods, putting his hand on Corey’s shoulder, and keeping it there as the boy quietly cries. After a while Corey straightens up and wipes at his eyes. The funeral director walks back in shortly after. Derek honestly hadn’t even noticed the man left.

“Have you decided?” the man asks.

Corey nods, gesturing towards the coffin to his left, “Yeah we’ll take this one.”

The man nods, “Good choice. Now would you like to come with me to fill out some paperwork? And we can figure out the details of the funeral?”

Corey nods but Derek can tell he feels a little lost, “I can be there with you if you want?”

Corey gives him a grateful smile, “Please.”

Derek listens as the man asks questions: “When would you like to have the funeral? Do want a graveside service or something inside before moving to the cemetery? Do you want a visitation before the funeral? Do you want the flowers kept after the funeral?”

So many questions. So many things to decide and there’s no way to know if the answers are right. All Derek can do is offer up his advice like maybe the service should be inside in case it rains that day and it’s probably best to not have a visitation and just have the funeral. None of it is easy. How could it be when it’s kids burying kids?

***

It’s a cold and cloudy day. Corey supposes it’s appropriate weather. It certainly fits with the way he’s feeling. From what he can tell it might rain. He just hopes it holds off long enough for them to at least put the body in the ground. Then it can come down all it wants. It won’t matter. Mason’s dead. He took whatever light Corey had inside with him when he died.

He’s been doing his best to hold himself together as he plans the funeral but it’s been hard. The only thing that’s kept him from completely breaking has been Derek’s presence offering him help and advice whenever he needs it. He hates that Derek’s lost enough to actually have a knowledge of the ins and outs of funerals.

Hell, they’ve all lost too much. It’s unfair.

Corey stands at the front of the room next to the casket, next to Mason. He’s alone for a while and he hates it. He hates that his eyes keep drifting over to Mason’s body. It barely even looks like Mason anymore.

 _It’s because that’s not Mason_ , he tells himself.  _Mason is someplace else. That’s just his body_.

It doesn’t make him feel any better. He hates standing next to this shell of what Mason used to be, alive and breathing, while Mason is gone.

He lets out a breath of relief when people slowly start trickling in. The first people to show up are Derek, Liam, and Stiles. They head right for Corey, both Stiles and Derek pulling Theo in for a hug while Liam just stands there. He looks like he’s barely with it himself.

Brett is the next person to show up. He walks up to the group, patting the others on the back before turning to Corey. He’s a little surprised when Brett sticks out his hand for him to shake, “You may be a Soc made him happy. He was lucky to have you.”

“I was the lucky one,” Corey says. “And I’m not a Soc. I’m just a person.”

“A person that loved him,” Brett says, placing a hand on his shoulder. “He might not have told us about you but I could tell he was a little happier in those months you guys were together. He looked like he had hope. We rarely get that in our lives. You did more for him than anyone else ever could. You might not think you need the thanks but you’re getting them. And umm… if you ever want to talk about him…”

Corey gives him a small smile, “I appreciate the offer but I don’t plan on sticking around.”

“You’re not?” Derek asks, but he doesn’t look surprised.

“No, I’m not. I think I’m going to go to the mountains.”

“The mountains?” Stiles asks, looking confused. “What’s in the mountains?”

“Not much,” Corey says, “but Mason and I had talked about going there. We hadn’t settled on anywhere specific so I figure I have some ground to cover.”

“Well you’ll have to send us postcards,” Liam says, speaking for the first time.

“I will,” Corey agrees. He knows Mason would want him to.

The rest of the funeral goes by in a blur. Liam gets up at one point and talks about what a good friend Mason was. Then eyes turn to Corey. He hadn’t been sure if anyone would want him to speak but now here he is.

He takes a deep breath and stands up, heading back towards the front of the room. There aren’t a lot of people here besides him and Derek, Liam, Stiles, Brett, and Scott. Some people from the neighborhood are here and a few others that claim to have known Mason. Corey isn’t sure whether to be grateful or mad that Mason’s own parents couldn’t be bothered to show up.

“I’m Corey,” Corey says, unsure why he’s feeling the need to introduce himself. “Mason was my boyfriend. I normally hate speaking like this but for Mason I’d do just about anything,” he lets out a wet chuckle, “he knew that too. He just had this way of knowing things. He kept a lot of things close to his chest but god he was so bright. He helped me see things could be different if we worked for them. I don’t…” Corey shakes his head and looks over to where the piano is sitting. “I don’t really know how to put things into words so I think I’m just going to sing instead.”

Corey sits down at the piano, wondering if he’s really about to do this. He’s only ever played for Mason. He supposes in a way this would be like doing that as well. He closes his eyes, taking a calming breath, just hoping he can get through the song.

 _Seize upon that moment long ago_  
_One breath away and there you will be_  
_So young and carefree_  
_Again you will see_  
_That place in time...so gold_

He gets lost in the music, letting his fingers dance across the keys. The more he goes on, the more choked up he gets. But he also feels calm. He can’t explain it but it almost feels like Mason is there with him. When he’s done he just sits there, shoulders hunched and hands clenched over the keys as he tries not to cry.

He swears he feels a hand on his shoulder but he knows it can’t be. It’s just in his head. Until it’s not. He can feel the warm line of a body next to him but he knows it’s not the one he wants it to be. He looks over to see Derek there. He has tears of his own in his eyes as he puts an arm around Corey’s shoulder and leads him back to his seat.

Derek doesn’t remove his arm the whole rest of the service and Corey is grateful. It helps him hold himself together. If he’s going to breakdown it’s not going to be in front of a bunch of people he hardly knows.

The funeral wraps up and then almost everyone starts filing out of the room. Derek, Stiles, and Brett stick behind to help Corey carry the coffin out to the hearse. Then they’re in their cars and driving in a small line out to the cemetery.

The sky is darker now and Corey knows it won’t be long before it starts pouring. Right now he would almost welcome it. He listens as some man speaks, talking about Mason as if he knew him when he really didn’t. Then they’re all throwing dirt on the coffin and people start leaving as if it’s nothing. Corey stays, simply staring at the box that holds the body of the man he loves. _Loves_. He can’t say it in past tense. Mason might be gone but Corey’s love for him isn’t. He doubts it ever will be.

He looks over when he hears footsteps and sees Derek standing next to him again, Liam and Stiles standing a few feet away. “It’s about to start raining. You should get out of here.”

“I will,” Corey mumbles.“I just need some more time.”

Derek gives him a sad smile and squeezes his shoulder, “We’re having a dinner at my place if you’d like to join us. I know we’d like to have you there.”

Corey doesn’t say anything, just nods. Then Derek walks away, leaving Corey alone with Mason. He stands there a while, just staring at the casket. He’s not sure why. He just can’t bring himself to leave. Not yet. Not even when the sky opens up and it starts raining heavily down on him.

“Mason” Corey whispers, shoulders shaking as the tears finally come. “God Mase, I don’t know how I’m supposed to do this. How I’m supposed to go on without you.”

He falls onto his knees, burying his hands in his hair and then he screams. He screams and he cries and curses the universe for taking Mason away from him. He’s close to letting himself fall forward into the hole and crawling into the coffin next to Mason. But he knows that’s not what Mason would want. He’d want Corey to go on, as hard as it is.

“I love you so much Mase,” Corey whispers. “Always.”

Corey stands up, spares one last glance at where Mason’s body is resting, and then walks to his car. He debates just going home but he knows Mason would want him to go to Derek’s. So he does.

Derek looks a little surprised to see him when he opens the door, then he’s smiling warmly and opening the door for Corey to step inside. He turns to Stiles, “Hey Soda? Can you grab a towel out of the bathroom for me?”

Stiles disappears only to return and second later and walk over with a couple towels which he hands to Corey, “Do you want something dry to wear? I’m sure we have something that would fit you.”

Corey’s about to say no but he’s honestly starting to shake with how cold he is, “That would be great. Thanks.”

“Just take your shoes off and then you can change in the bathroom,” Derek tells him, gesturing over his shoulder to where the bathroom is.

Corey nods and carefully slips his shoes off before padding into the bathroom. There’s a pair of sweats and t-shirt waiting for him when he steps in. He changes quickly, wanting to get out of the wet clothes and into something warm.

When he steps out he’s suddenly unsure what he’s supposed to do. He’s a little out of his element here. He knows these were Mason’s friends but up until a few days ago he hardly spoke to any of them.

It’s surprisingly not awkward though. Derek pulls him into the kitchen and puts him to work helping prepare the food. Corey doesn’t mind. It’s something to do and talking with Derek keeps his mind occupied. He knows Derek is doing it on purpose and he’s grateful for it.

Dinner is a lively event, everyone talking over each other. They share stories about Mason and it hits Corey just how much he’d missed out on. Mason told Corey about his life but there was still so much he didn’t know.

In turn, Corey tells everyone about his time with Mason. Not everything, just little stories. Like the first time they went to play miniature golf and Mason had no idea how to hold the club. He’d sent the ball flying, soaring over a few of the holes before landing with a plop in the water. That had been their first date. Corey remembers it well. Mason had been so embarrassed about it, offering his apologies to Corey. He’d look so adorable that Corey had had to kiss him, telling him that he had nothing to apologize for. Mason had blushed and ducked his head, looking up at Corey through his lashes. Corey swears he fell a little bit in love with Mason in that moment.

He doesn’t say all this, keeping the story to Mason hitting the golf ball into the water and being all embarrassed about it afterwards. Corey knows his feelings must show on his face. That’s one of his fondest memories with Mason. Corey looks over to see Derek eyes on him, an understanding smile on his face. Then his eyes drift to the others at the table, seeing them all smiling and laughing. He supposes if one good thing came out of this horrible mess it’s that he got a chance to know these people. To see firsthand all the things Mason loves about his friends.

He just wishes Mason was here with him to see it. To see that it is possible for Socs and Greasers to co-exist. But no, that’s not what it is. When they’re all together like this none of that matters. They’re not Socs and Greasers, they’re just people who are mourning the loss of someone they care about as best as they can.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Kudos/Comments make my day.  
> [My tumblr](http://tabbytabbytabby.tumblr.com/)


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here we are at the final chapter. Sorry for the wait. It took a bit longer than I'd hoped to get it finished.
> 
> Song used: [Powerful](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y7OCgi7rANc) by Major Lazer feat. Ellie Goulding & Tarrus Riley.  
> Thanks to Sammy for the song suggestion which helped move some of this along.  
> And Amanda for the inspiration she provided. You know what it is (;

It’s not surprising that Derek and Liam get into a fight. Derek had hoped that things would get better between them, and they do. But Liam has also just been floating by these past few weeks after Mason died.

“You can’t live in a vacuum Liam,” Derek says, “You can’t just shut down just because you lose somebody. You should know that by now.”

“Like you wouldn’t have been worse off if Theo had died,” Liam grits out.

Derek narrows his eyes, “That’s different and you know it.”

“Why?” Liam asks, “Because you’re in love with him? Well I loved Mason. Maybe not the same way you love Theo but he was my best friend. I’m allowed to be upset.”

“Sure you are. But you’re not upset. You’re acting as if you’re not feeling anything.”

“I’m handling it fine,” Liam says, “Everybody grieves differently. Isn’t that right Soda?”

Stiles stands up, throwing his napkin down on the table, “God damn it you guys, leave me out of it!”

He takes off running out of the house, leaving Liam and Derek to chase after him. The two decide to split up, thinking they’ll catch him faster that way. Derek catches up to Stiles just after Liam does, watching as Liam tackles him to the ground, “Where the hell do you think you’re going?”

“I don’t know man,” Stiles says, standing up and walking towards the fence lining the baseball field. “Just like sometimes I have to get out. It’s like sometimes I’m the middle man in a tug of war or something between you two. I don’t know. I can’t take sides.”

He walks back over to where Liam and Derek are sitting on the grass and sits down next to them, turning to look at Liam, “Liam, Derek could have put you in a boys home and worked his way through college. I’m telling you the truth Pony. He could have. But he didn’t because he loves you and wants what’s best for you. And me? You don’t want to be like me anyway, cause I’m happy working in a gas station. You’d never be happy doing something like that.”

He turns to Derek, “And Der, you gotta stop yelling at him for every little thing that he does man. I mean, he feels things differently than you. It’s bad enough having to listen to you but when you start trying to get me to take sides… We’re all we’ve got left now. If we don’t have each other, you end up like Theo. Alone and scared and afraid to let anyone in to the point where you start hating the world. So please, don’t fight anymore. Please.”

Derek nods, feeling guilty about the way they’ve been pulling Stiles apart. It’s not fair. He knows that. It’s been hard on all of them getting used to this new dynamic.

“Sure. Sure little buddy,” Derek says, moving until he’s pulling Stiles in for a hug, “We aren’t going to fight anymore.”

“Ponyboy. Come on,” Stiles pulls Liam into the hug, the three of them taking comfort in each other. After everything that’s happened they need this, “Now don’t you start crying too Pony. One crybaby in this family is enough.”

“I’m not crying,” Liam says.

Stiles chuckles, “Sure you’re not. I’m not crying either.”

“Oh we’re all crying,” Derek sighs, “but after everything that’s happened we deserve a good cry.”

“Ain’t that the truth,” Stiles says, “but maybe in the comfort of our own home.”

Derek and Liam agree and the three of them stand up and slowly make their way back home. Stiles and Liam get changed and fall asleep almost as soon as they fall into bed. Derek stands there watching them for a while. He’s not tired, and even if he was he doubts he could sleep. He has too much on his mind.

So much has happened the past few weeks. He really could use some sleep but his mind just won’t shut down. Derek sighs and pushes off the door, heading into his room and changing into a loose pair of sweats.

He flops down onto his bed and just stares at the ceiling. He hasn’t been sleeping much lately. He thought it would be easier after the hearing and Liam got cleared of all charges with the judge ruling that Liam was to stay with Derek. But it hasn’t.

Sure, it has been a huge weight off his shoulders knowing that he didn’t have to worry about someone swooping in and taking Liam and Stiles away. But that left room for other worries, like Liam’s health. And more often than not Theo. His mind always drifts to Theo, wondering how he’s doing. He’d go visit but Theo had asked him not to, saying he didn’t want Derek to see him like that.

It’s only been a couple weeks but it’s been hard to stay away. He talked to Corey shortly before he left on his trip. Apparently Corey had gone to see Theo. There Theo had given Corey a letter to give to Derek. Derek keeps it in the top drawer of his nightstand, pulling it out every night before he goes to sleep. It’s a reminder that despite Theo being gone he’s still alive and well.

Derek pulls the letter out now, reading through the words despite the fact that he practically has them memorized by now.

 

_Hey Der,_

_I’m sorry you have to hear from me like this. I know you keep coming by and asking to see me, but I just can’t. I can’t have you seeing me when I’m locked up like this. I know it doesn’t matter to you but it matters to me. I want the next time you see me to be when I’m a free man._

_I want to be able to walk out of here without handcuffs or some ugly ass jumpsuit and be able to put my arms around you. I want to be able to kiss you without being yelled at about keeping space between us. I just want to be free to be with you Derek. I can’t do that in here._

_I can’t ask you to wait for me though. I know you’ve said you love me, and I believe you. I love you too, so much. So much that it fucking terrifies me. And I know you know who I am, who I really am and you love me in spite of all that. Which is why I have to say this. Don’t feel like you have to wait. There’s no telling when they’re going to let me out of here. It wouldn’t be fair of me to ask you to wait for me to get out._

_But if you do… God Derek if you do, I promise you I am going to spend the rest of my life making all this shit up to you. I’m going to take care of you and spend the rest of our lives loving you and showing you just how amazing you are. Because you deserve it. And we’re finally going to go on that date I owe you. But first, first I am going to kiss you. I am going to kiss the shit out of you and so many other things I probably shouldn’t put in a letter._

_Anyway, the guards are giving me weird looks because I can’t stop smiling while writing this. They probably think I’m crazy. They’re not wrong. I’m crazy about you (;_

_I hope to see you when I get out of here Derek. I understand if you find a way to move on in that time, but if you don’t I’ll be there._

_Love,_

_Theo_

_P.s. Can you put some flowers on Mason’s grave for me? And go visit? I hate that I had to miss the funeral and I want him to know I’m thinking about him._

 

Derek holds the letter to his chest and closes his eyes. His other hand drifts down across his chest, brushing across one of his nipples, letting his nail scrape over it. The feeling of his nail through the rough fabric of his tank top has him hissing. He moves his hand lower and palms his already hard dick through his sweats.

His eyes flick to the wall to his left, wondering if he’s really about to do this with Liam and Stiles sleeping in the next room. He strokes himself through his sweats and takes a shuddering breath. It’s been so long since he’s had any relief. And Theo’s words about all the things he wants to do to Derek that he can’t put in a letter keep flowing through his mind.

Fuck. He just needs something to ease this tension that’s been building. He’d been hoping to do that with Theo but since that’s not possible his own fist will have to do. It doesn’t matter anyway. With as long as it’s been since he last came he probably won’t last long.

He lifts his hips and eases his sweats down as best he can with one hand before bringing his hand up to his mouth. He sucks on his fingers until he’s satisfied their wet enough and brings his hand back down to his aching cock. The first touch has Derek moaning and having to hide his face in his pillow to muffle the sound. It really has been too long since he had the opportunity to do this.

Derek’s starts slow, working his fist on his cock leisurely. Then he starts thinking of Theo, imagining the sort of things he would want to do with Derek. He imagines Theo touching his dick, a playful smirk on his face as he teases him with gentle strokes of his hand before gripping harder and working his fist faster.

Derek does the same to himself. His thoughts aiding him in his quest for release. He can already tell he’s close and all he’s thought about is Theo’s hand on him.

He thinks of Theo’s mouth and the way it would fit so perfectly around his cock. He’d probably work Derek open with his fingers at the same time he was sucking him off, getting him ready for Theo to take him apart. And oh how he would. Derek has no doubt Theo would wreck him, and he would welcome it. He’d probably beg for it.

Derek closes his eyes, cursing quietly as he speeds up his movements. He’s so close. He just needs… Derek picks up the discarded letter and brings it to his nose, moaning when he smells Theo’s cologne on it. God he’d sprayed it on the letter before sending it. He must have.

“Fuck,” Derek whispers, working his fist hard over his cock, “Fuck. Theo.”

Derek turns back to the pillow and bites down, doing his best to muffle his cry as he cums, the scent of Theo’s cologne still strong. He continues stroking, milking out every last drop of cum he can. When his dick becomes too sensitive he removes his hand and wipes it on his chest. He’s going to have to wash up anyway after this.

Derek frowns when he looks at the bottom of the letter and sees a splash of cum. He wipes it off on his sweats, not wanting it to sink in and cause the ink to bleed. But even with it gone Derek can still see the spot. He brings the paper up to his nose and inhales. Fuck he can smell himself on it mixed with the scent of Theo. He’s not going to be able to read the letter without being reminded of what he did.

The thought of Theo finding out sends his heart racing. How would he react? The cocky bastard would probably be pleased. Derek has no doubt.

The thought thrills him as much as it makes him sad. He wants to find out all the things Theo alluded to in his letter, sure. But more than anything just wants Theo free. He wants to see Theo’s face in the sunlight and hear his familiar laugh. He wants to make up for every missed opportunity between them. He knows that no matter what Theo says he’s going to wait, no matter how long it takes.

 

**3 months later**

Derek’s laying on the couch, a book open in front of him but he’s not really seeing the words. He tries to but it’s been hard to concentrate on anything today. He can’t really say why. Something just has him on the alert. It’s one of the rare moments when Derek’s actually alone in the house. It makes him miss Theo. Miss the days when Theo would come over on Derek’s days off and curl up on the couch to watch a movie.

Derek’s about to give up and just take a nap or something when a knock sounds on the door. Derek is confused. Almost everyone knows not to knock, they usually just come right in. Brow furrowed, Derek stands up and makes his way over to the door.

Derek feels his breath hitch when he opens the door and sees who’s on the other side, “Theo.”

“Hey Der,” Theo says, his voice soft as he gazes up at Derek. He’s standing on the porch with his hands in his pockets looking more unsure than Derek has ever seen him. All Derek wants to do is cross the space between them and pull him in for a hug. So he does. He feels as well as hears Theo chuckle as his arms come up to wrap around Derek, “I was going to ask if I could come in but this works too.”

“I missed you,” Derek murmurs as his hands move across Theo’s back. He can’t even be bothered trying to reign himself in. Not when he finally has Theo back in his arms again, alive and whole and fitting so perfectly in his arms. This is where he should be, and Derek is going to fight like hell to keep him here.

“I missed you too,” Theo says, sinking further into his arms, “It’s been too long.”

“It has,” Derek says, pulling back slightly to look at Theo, “but it’s been three months. You weren’t supposed to be out for another three. You didn’t break out, did you?”

He’s only half joking. Theo rolls his eyes, “I got out early. Good behavior.”

Derek snorts, “Good behavior? You?”

“Yeah well, I had a reason to be behave myself. I had someone waiting for me on the outside,” Theo says, smiling up at him. “Is that still the case?”

Derek smiles, bringing a hand up to Theo’s cheek, “Of course it is. I would have waited for you however long it took. But I am happy you’re here now.”

“Me too. I’ve had a lot of time to think while locked up.”

“About?” Derek asks.

“Maybe we should go inside?” Theo suggests, a shy smile on his face.

Derek nods, pulling away from Theo. Before he can think more on it he grabs his hand and leads him inside.

“Are Stiles and Liam here?” Theo asks, looking around the room.

“Stiles is at work and Liam is at school,” Derek says, feeling grateful for once that the house is empty.

“Good,” Theo steps back into Derek’s space, moving a hand to the back of his neck and kissing him. It’s soft but the intent is still there. Derek groans when Theo’s tongue slips between his lips and tangles with his own, wrapping an arm around Theo’s waist in an effort to bring them closer. He swears his eyes almost roll back when Theo’s tongue runs slowly along the roof of his mouth.

He pulls back, panting “Fuck Theo.”

Theo smirks against his lips, “That’s what I’m hoping for.”

Derek’s lips tilt up, “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Theo breathes, “I’m tired of waiting. I want to be with you Der. I want all of this. All the emotional stuff included but right now I just need,” he sighs, rocking his hips against Derek’s brushing their growing erections together, “I want this.”

Derek runs his nose along Theo’s cheek back to his ear, where he whispers, “Sex can be emotional too Theo.”

Theo has his eyes closed when Derek moves back to look at him. Derek smiles, moving his hand up and brushing his thumb across Theo’s cheek, “Sex between us is definitely going to get there. After everything we’ve been through to get here how could it not be?” He places a kiss to Theo’s lips before moving to place soft kiss across his face wherever he can, “this is much more than fucking. I’m going to take such good care of you Theo. If you’ll let me.”

“Please,” Theo begs, moving in to kiss Derek with a hint of desperation.

Derek kisses him back with equal fervor as he starts walking backwards towards his bedroom. He feels Theo’s grin against his lips when they stumble into the wall. All Theo does is press Derek against it, slotting his leg between Derek’s as they continue to kiss.

“The curtains are open,” Derek murmurs kissing a trail down Theo’s neck.

“I don’t care,” Theo groans, rocking his hips against Derek’s, “let them see.”

Derek snorts, “As much as I appreciate your enthusiasm we really do need a bed for what I have planned for you.”

Theo pulls back from Derek with what Derek is surprised to see is a shy smile as he takes Derek’s hand and starts backing up towards Derek’s room, “Then show me.”

Derek grins, running the rest of the way into the room and pulling a laughing Theo in behind him. Theo barely has time to close the door before Derek is pulling him towards the bed and pushing him down. Theo lands on the mattress with a surprised “oomph!”

Derek just smiles and gets on his knees next to the bed, smirking when he sees Theo sit up on his elbows to watch him. Derek’s hands trail from Theo’s thighs down his legs, grazing lightly over his calves before moving to his shoes. He works one then the other off along with Theo’s socks before looking up at Theo.

“Did you really just get down there to take my shoes off?” Theo asks him.

Derek shrugs, moving his hands up to rest of Theo’s thighs again. He brings one up further, feeling dizzy with the new wave of lust that hits him when he feels the hard outline of Theo's dick through his jeans.

“What do you want?” Derek asks, squeezing Theo’s thigh.

Theo groans, shifting his body until his erection once again comes into contact with Derek’s hand, “Fuck Der. I want it all. But right now, I just really want to taste you.”

“Fuck,” Derek moans, resting his head on Theo’s thigh.

He feels a hand brush through his hair before Theo’s amused voice breaks the silence, “That too. But first I want to blow you.”

Derek’s eyes snap up to meet Theo’s. He’s smiling down at him but Derek can see the hunger in his eyes. He’d had his own plans but he can’t deny Theo. Derek stands up, pulling his shirt over his head before crawling onto the bed and flopping down on his back. He grins at Theo, reaching a hand out and pulling him closer. Theo kneels between Derek’s spread legs, smiling down at him as he swiftly removes his shirt and throws it somewhere in the room.

Derek rolls his eyes, about to complain until Theo moves again until he’s leaning over Derek causing their jean clad erections to brush. Derek moans, bringing his hands down to squeeze Theo’s ass and pull him closer.

Theo chuckles, “Like what you feel?”

“I’d like it better without the pants,” Derek smirks.

Theo just grins, “Patience Der.”

He leans down and kisses Derek, slow and deep as he rocks his hips gently against Derek. Derek sighs against his mouth, moving a hand from Theo’s ass up to stroke his side. Theo grinds against him slowly, the friction doing little more than teasing. He knows he wanted to take it slow and enjoy it but this is enough to drive him crazy.

“Theo,” Derek grits out, “If you don’t get these pants off I’m going to rip them off for you. And I can’t promise you’ll be able to wear them again.”

Theo sucks in a breath, looking at Derek with dark eyes. He’s surprised to see it looks as if Theo is debating what to do. “Fuck,” Theo groans, burying his face in Derek’s neck as he works his hips harder against Derek’s, “That’s so hot. And tempting. But I like these jeans.”

“Hmm me too,” Derek murmurs, grabbing Theo’s ass with both hands and squeezing. “But right now I’d like them better off.”

He feels Theo’s smile against his skin, his hot breath making him shiver as it blows across his skin when Theo speaks, “Then you’re just going to have to help me out of them, aren’t you?”

Derek doesn’t waste any more time. He moves his hands around, working open the button and then the zipper of Theo’s jeans. Theo lifts his hips, allowing Derek to pull them off. Derek’s eyes widen when he realizes Theo isn’t wearing anything underneath them.

“No underwear?” Is all he can manage to rasp out.

“Nah,” Theo chuckles, “I was hoping I wouldn’t be needing them. I’d have showed up here naked if it wouldn’t have freaked out the neighbors.”

Derek imagines opening the door and finding a naked Theo standing on his porch, wearing nothing but his cocky smirk. He doubts they would have even made it to the couch let alone the bedroom if he’d shown up like that.

He helps Theo out of his jeans before removing his. Theo tries to help but all he manages to do is rub his hands over every inch of skin Derek reveals. Not that Derek is complaining. He’s been wanting Theo’s hands on him for years.

Once he’s free of his jeans he’s left lying there in his boxer briefs staring up at Theo. Theo smirks at him before leaning down and kissing him, his hands running down Derek’s sides and across his stomach. Eventually his hands move down to Derek’s underwear, his dark eyes glancing up at Derek as he hooks his thumbs under the band, “I can’t wait to finally see this cock of yours,” he murmurs, “and get my mouth on it. You’re going to taste so good on my tongue Der. I know it.”

Derek wants to tell him to shut up and get on with it but he likes hearing Theo talk. It eases some of the nerves that have been building in him ever since they started this thing.

Turns out he doesn’t have to say anything. Theo’s clearly just as eager as he is. He taps Derek’s hips until Derek gets the message and lifts up, allowing Theo to ease his underwear down. He throws them off to the side without looking, his attention fully focused on Derek’s now free cock.

“Beautiful,” he murmurs, leaning down and running his nose along Derek’s dick from base to tip. He follows the path back down and then up again with his tongue before taking the head into his mouth and sucking. Derek can’t help but moan when Theo groans around him, sending a delicious vibration around his cock.

Theo slowly starts taking more of Derek into his throat, moving down a bit before pulling back and then back down again until he has Derek fully in his mouth.

“Fuck,” Derek gasps, moving his hand down to stroke Theo’s cheek.

Derek throws his head back and closes his eyes when Theo starts bobbing his head down on his dick with renewed fervor, “Yes,” he hisses, “fuck. Like that.”

Theo hums around him, making Derek curse and buck his hips up. He frowns when Theo pulls off wiping at his mouth, “Sorry. I didn’t mean to…”

“Don’t you dare apologize,” Theo rasps, “I’m just not used to it yet. But I’m sure we’ll get plenty of practice.”

He smirks before moving down and taking Derek back into his mouth, keeping his eyes on Derek as he bobs his head. It’s unlike anything Derek has ever experienced. He knows he could easily come just from this, and oh does he want to. But not right now. Now he has other plans.

Derek can’t take anymore. When Theo pulls off his cock and leans up to kiss him Derek flips them over until Theo is on his back. He kisses him slowly, stroking his face tenderly with one hand while the other moves down to dance around his hole.

Theo pulls back with a groan, “Lube?”

Derek grins and kisses him again, moving his hand under his pillow and pulling out a bottle of lube. He never used to keep it around but after the first time he got off to Theo’s letter he realized he’d better start. Now he’s glad he did.

Derek pops the cap and pour a liberal amount onto his fingers, rubbing them together before moving them down to Theo’s waiting hole. He prepares Theo slowly, wanting to take his time and make sure Theo is ready.

Theo tenses around the first finger but waves off any of Derek’s questioning. Derek has to admit he’s a little out of his element here. He only knows a little bit of what he’s doing because of the porn he borrowed from Stiles and then the talk Stiles had been all too happy to have with him after he found out about it. He really doesn’t want to think of why Stiles seems to know so much. Especially not right now.

Once Theo seems comfortable with the first finger Derek starts working a second finger into him. Theo’s a lot less tense now, even rocking back onto Derek’s fingers and giving shaky little gasps when Derek angles his fingers and finds his prostate. Satisfied, Derek moves onto three fingers. Despite how eager Theo seems to be Derek still takes his time. At least until Theo starts squirming and tells him to get on with it already.

Derek rolls his eyes, “So bossy.”

He pulls his fingers out, leaning over to his nightstand and grabbing a condom. His hands shake as he tries to open the package. A hand settles over his and Derek looks up to see Theo gazing fondly back at him, “Let me.”

Derek hands over the condom, watching as Theo opens it a lot easier than Derek would have. He gestures for Derek to come closer so he does, moving until he’s kneeling right next to Theo. Theo slips the condom onto Derek’s dick, before grabbing the lube from beside them. He keeps his eyes on Derek as he pours the lube on his fingers and then wraps them around Derek’s dick. He gives a few firm strokes before dropping his hand.

“I think you’re good,” Theo says, his voice low and raspy. It makes Derek shiver. Derek begins to crawl back down the bed, jumping slightly when a hand connects with his ass and then Theo’s amused voice speaks, “Now get down there and fuck me _big guy_.”

Derek rolls his eyes as he settles on his knees between Theo’s legs. He runs his hands up and down his thighs before moving them down to Theo’s cheeks and parting them, letting his thumb brush over Theo’s waiting hole. He keeps one hand there and moves the other one to grab his dick.

Theo hisses, eyes falling closed as Derek enters him. Derek does his best to go slow, not wanting to rush and hurt Theo.

“Fuck you’re tight,” Derek gasps, resting his forehead against Theo’s as he rocks his hips forward slightly. “You feel so good.”

He has to close his eyes when he’s fully seated, the feeling of being surrounded by Theo a little overwhelming. He thought Theo’s mouth on him had been amazing but this is something else entirely.

He gives a slow, experimental roll of his hips, earning a moan from Theo. Feeling encouraged he does it again, keeping his movements slow. He continues to grind into Theo, not pulling out but just moving inside him. There will be time for a hard and fast fuck later. Right now he wants to enjoy this. He wants to take his time and take care of Theo, show him how loved he is.

Derek pulls back to look at Theo, finding that he too has his eyes closed. His mouth is parted as he gasps quietly with every small thrust Derek gives. Derek pulls one of Theo’s legs up to his hip, the change of angle causing Theo to moan and rock back against him.

Derek brings a hand up to Theo’s cheek, gently stroking as he rocks into him, “Look at you. I wish you could see yourself. You look so beautiful.”

Theo whines, his eyes opening and meeting Derek’s. He brings a hand to Derek’s neck and pulls him down for a deep and tender kiss, the pace of it matching the way their bodies are rocking together.

“I love you,” Derek murmurs as he trails kisses against Theo’s skin from his cheek down to his neck, “I love you so much,” he gives a powerful thrust into Theo using his body to enunciate his words. “Fuck Theo you have no idea,” he rocks his hips again, driving deep into Theo, “You’re so important.”

Derek pulls his face away from Theo’s neck in concern when he hears Theo gives a choked off sob. For a moment he’s afraid he’s done something wrong and is about to pull out but Theo moves a hand to his ass and stops him, “No,” Theo gasps, “I’m fine. I just… Fuck Der I love you too. I never thought sex would feel like this.”

“Like what?” Derek asks, moving his hips slowly when Theo squirms under him, “How does it feel?”

“It’s…” Theo lets out a disbelieving laugh, “It’s so much. I can’t even describe it. I never thought I would feel so much.”

Derek gets it, but he also knows sex with anyone else would never feel like this. That what they’re experiencing is all them. He pulls Theo’s leg up higher and starts rocking harder into him. Theo’s hand moves from his ass up to rake his nails across Derek’s back.

Derek leans down and kisses him, their tongues meeting in a slow dance, tangling together and exploring much in the way their hands are moving across their bodies.

Derek gets lost in it. In the kiss. In the sounds Theo makes. In the way their bodies move together as if this is what they were meant to do. Derek has no doubt they were.

He can feel his orgasm approaching a lot faster than he would have liked. He’d wanted to savor this moment with Theo, to take his time. Apparently that’s something they’re going to have to work up to. The thought of having more moments like this, of being able to take Theo apart little by little or having Theo do the same to him has his hips stuttering and a low moan escaping him.

“Derek?” Theo asks, his hand raking through his hair. “All good?”

“I’m close,” Derek grits out, fucking harder into Theo, “Fuck Theo, I need you to come.”

“Shit,” Theo gasps, grabbing the headboard behind him with one of his hands as he rocks back into Derek’s thrusts, “I’m close to. I need…” his words die as a moan escapes him Derek shifts his thrusts again, “Fuck Der. There.”

Derek doesn’t need to be told twice. He starts driving hard into Theo, aiming his thrusts for Theo’s prostate. He’s rewarded with a series of choked off moans and then a shout of his name as Theo cums.

Derek watches, mesmerized as thick strips of Theo’s cum splash across his chest and up to his neck. Derek’s thrusts become more erratic, spurred on by the sight of Theo’s blissed out face beneath him. Derek leans down and kisses Theo as he continues to thrust into him. He can feel his orgasm approaching. He’s teetering on the edge just waiting to be pushed over.

“Come on Der,” Theo whispers, nipping at the skin of Derek’s jaw, “Come for me.”

“Fuck,” Derek hisses, his hips jerking and then he’s coming. He should be surprised that all it took to bring him over was Theo’s voice telling him to come, but he’s not. Theo just has that effect on him.

Derek takes a few deep breaths, trying to calm his rapidly beating heart. Then he’s slowing pulling out of Theo, kissing his cheek when he hisses at the loss. Derek takes off the condom and ties it up, throwing it into the trashcan next to his bed before flopping down onto his back next to Theo.

He feels the bed dip and then Theo’s face comes into view. Derek smiles as he looks up at him. Theo smiles right back. His fingers slowly dance their way up his chest before coming up to Derek throat, softly caressing the skin and hair there as he leans down to kiss him, his lips caressing Derek’s much the same way his hands are.

“God I love you,” Derek murmurs, bringing a hand up to rest on the one Theo still has on his throat.

“And I love you,” Theo smiles softly, tangling their fingers together before bringing their joined hands up to his mouth, placing a kiss to each of Derek’s fingers.

“What now?” Derek finds himself asking.

“Well if you’re talking immediate future I was thinking a nap and then something to eat,” Theo grins, “but if you’re talking after? Well I suppose we still have that date to go on. And then… well I don’t know about you but I definitely want more of this with you. And not just the sex. Everything.”

“You’re not scared anymore?” Derek asks.

“Oh I’m fucking terrified,” Theo laughs, “but I trust you, and I love you. After everything that’s happened I’m not about to let you go again. So I guess you’re stuck with me.”

Derek smiles, placing a soft kiss to Theo’s lips, “I can live with that.”

Derek insists on grabbing a washcloth to clean up, knowing they’ll regret it if they don’t. After that he falls back onto his bed and pulls Theo close to him, wrapping his arms around him while Theo rests his head on Derek’s chest.

"I see you kept the picture," Theo says, waving a tired hand in the direction of the nightstand.

Derek glances to where the picture Stiles had taken of him and Theo on cuddling on the couch sits on the nightstand. "Of course I did. I needed it close to me."

"Surprised you didn't keep it tucked under your pillow or put it in your wallet," Theo jokes.

"Well we'll just have to take more so I can," Derek says, placing a kiss to the top of Theo's head.

"Kay," Theo yawns, snuggling up closer to Derek.

Derek wants to stay awake and enjoy the moment but it’s been so long since he got a proper night's sleep. He knows it’s probably the same for Theo. He drifts off to the sound of Theo’s quiet breathing and the feeling of his fingers drawing lazy circles on his skin.

 

He doesn’t know how long he sleeps but when he wakes it’s to find Theo hovering over him, a wide smile on his face, “It’s about time you woke up. I was afraid I was going to have to eat dinner without you.”

“Dinner?” Derek asks, hiding a yawn in his arm, “What time is it?”

“Almost 5,” Theo tells him.

“Shit,” Derek mutters, “Liam and Stiles…”

“Are out there making dinner,” Theo tells him, “Stiles popped his head in when he got home about an hour ago. He told me to let you sleep and they’d start cooking around 5.”

“That’s all he said?” Derek asks, surprised his brother didn’t have some smart ass comment.

“Well he said it was about time we got our heads out of our asses,” Theo says with a laugh, “And that he’s glad we at least had the decency to do this while no one was home.”

Derek sighs, looking up at the ceiling, “Do you know what they’re cooking?”

He knows his brothers can cook most things but some things he still worries about. He’s wondering if he’s going to have to drag himself out of bed and intervene.

“They said chicken and potatoes or something,” Theo says, “and watermelon for dessert. Apparently Stiles got a good deal on one.”

Derek nods. He knows how much Stiles loves watermelon.

“Did you know every place except for here thinks of watermelon as a fruit and not a vegetable?” Theo asks, his fingers trailing across Derek’s chest. “I found that out in New York.

Derek looks up at him with a raised eyebrow, “Random but I can see why people would think that.”

Theo’s brow furrows, “But it’s not! It’s a vegetable! Our official state vegetable!”

Derek chuckles, placing a quick kiss to Theo’s lips, “It is. Because it’s a member of the cucumber and gourd families. But it is also a fruit because it has seeds. One could argue it’s both a fruit and a vegetable.”

“Sometimes I forget how big of a nerd you are,” Theo says, looking at him fondly.

“Pony’s the nerd in the family,” Derek mutters, looking away from Theo, not wanting to see the look on his face, “Not me.”

“Hey,” Theo says, moving his hand to grab Derek’s chin until his eyes meet Theo’s, “you’re still one of the smartest people I know, Der.”

“That’s not saying much,” Derek says.

“It is though,” Theo says, “even the Socs probably don’t know as much as you do and they have the time and opportunity to be into all kinds of stuff. They just don’t take it. But you? God Derek, you’re so smart. And you love to read. I don’t know how many times I’ve walked in to find you with a book in your hands. Everyone talks about Liam and how he’s always reading and is always lost in some fantasy but that’s because of you. Because you bust your ass working so he can be. But you’re still smart and the giant ass nerd that I love.”

Derek’s heart skips a bit at Theo’s words. At hearing him use the word love so freely. Derek leans into Theo’s palm when he moves it up to cup Derek’s cheek, “I missed you.”

“I missed you too,” Theo murmurs, “but I’m here now. And I’m not going anywhere.”

Dinner is a loud affair, even if it is just the four of them. Stiles and Liam are happy to have Theo back and keep asking him questions. They’re acting as if Theo had been on vacation the past three months and not in prison. Derek can tell Theo isn’t exactly enjoying the attention.

“Quit pestering him,” Derek interjects, “You want to talk, then talk about something else. Like school, how was your day Pony?”

“It was good,” Liam shrugs, “I got an A on the paper I did.”

“That’s great,” Derek beams, not the least bit surprised. Liam’s a great writer, and smart when he actually lets himself focus on his work and puts in the effort. “What was it about?”

Liam looks hesitant to say, which Derek is a little surprised about. He usually loves talking about his writing. Liam brings a hand up, rubbing the back of his neck as he keeps his eyes focused on the table, “The teacher wanted something personal, something that I’d experienced.”

Derek doesn’t need to ask what Liam had chosen to write about. It just makes sense. Writing about what happened was probably his way of coping.

“I just need someone to know the truth,” Liam mutters, “I needed someone to know Mason and the way he was. Someone besides us and Corey.”

“It’s okay Liam,” Derek tells him.

“Mase would probably be honored to be in one of your papers,” Theo tells him, taking a sip of his soda, “He always loved your writing.”

Liam nods before turning back to his food. The table falls silent as they continue to eat. A few minutes later Liam speaks again, addressing Theo, “You know he wrote me the letter? He mentioned you in it. He umm… he wanted you to watch more sunsets and sunrises. He doesn’t think you’ve seen a lot.”

Derek reaches over and takes Theo’s hand, brushing his thumb across his knuckles.

“Well he wasn’t wrong,” Theo says, giving Derek a grateful smile.

It’s not surprising that after dinner Theo drags Derek out onto the porch, pulling him down onto the old porch swing they have there.

“I never really took the time to appreciate sunrises or sunsets,” Theo says, “Not before.”

“I used to,” Derek says, resting his head on Theo’s shoulder and looking out towards where the sun is setting in the distance. “I stopped paying attention a while ago. It was just another thing that happened. I never really stopped to appreciate the beauty of it all.”

“I know what you mean,” Theo says, “It makes you wonder how many other things we’ve missed just because we were too busy to really look.”

“Like this thing between us,” Derek says.

“Yeah,” Theo sighs, “except I did notice it, it just scared the hell out of me so I ran.”

“But you came back.”

“Only because you asked me to,” Theo tells him.

“I think you would have even if I hadn’t,” Derek says.

“I’d like to think so. But I was messed up back then. I still am,” Theo mutters.

“I don’t think you’re near as bad as you want everyone to believe. Sure, you have your issues but we all do,” Derek says, lifting his head so that he can look at Theo. “You can act as cold and heartless as you want but I know the truth. I know you Theo, probably better than anyone else does. I know that you care. I know that when you love you love fiercely. I know you keep your walls up around everyone else but when we’re together you just let yourself live. You smile and you laugh and you love. You look so beautiful. I wish you could see yourself the way that I see you Theo.”

Derek watches as Theo nods his head, wiping at the few tears that have spilled from his eyes, “Me too. But I think I have a pretty good idea.”

They sit there in silence after that, watching as the sun sets in front of them. Derek thinks that maybe sunsets should be sad, it’s something ending after all. But in reality it’s not. It’s just making way for something new. It’s letting the night take over, knowing that in a few hours it’ll be rising up again bringing a new day and new opportunities with it.

So sunsets aren’t really endings, they’re just making way for new beginnings. Sitting on the porch with Theo at his side, their future as bright and new as a sunrise, Derek really can’t wait to see what new beginnings they have in store for them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone that has been reading. I hoped you enjoyed reading it as much as I've enjoyed writing it ♥


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